


Corrupted Memory

by MrsAlot



Series: Heat of the Moment [7]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime, Transformers: Rescue Bots
Genre: Emotional Roller Coaster, Hospitalization, Injury Recovery, M/M, Major Character Injury, dangerous work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2019-08-08 01:34:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 37,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16419920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsAlot/pseuds/MrsAlot
Summary: a fire is a destructive thing...But Kade and Heatwave are pros at dealing with raging infernos...but can they deal with a catastrophic event that will test their relationship to the extremethey've already been through so much... can they survive this?





	1. The Incident

**Author's Note:**

> continuation form 'Hard Light'
> 
> i've had this planned for ages. i'm so pleased that i'managed to get so much out over the last few months.
> 
> this... is more story driven and less porn, there will be some but not as much.
> 
> let me know what you think

The fire was out of control.

In what seemed like a split second it had gone from being manageable situation to a full on chaos inferno.

There had been people trapped inside the burning warehouse. Something short circuited and set fire to stock. The owners had neglected the upkeep of their fire alarm system. By the time the alarm was raised it was too late for the workers to get out. They had no chance of escaping on their own as the smoke and flames were intense enough for Kade Burns to warrant the use of his seldom used breathing apparatus. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d even used it. He’d almost forgotten how difficult these types of fires were. It was the biggest and most dangerous Griffon Rock had seen in a long time. He was just glad he had his Bot partner with him. With him by his side, Kade knew they could fight anything.

Despite his siblings concerns he’d dashed headlong into the blaze to rescue the few trapped citizens inside. They had never seen him tackle a blaze this big and intimidating, they were understandably concerned. Their Dad reminding everyone that this is what Kade was trained to do and they should let him do his job. Heatwave had followed him inside, ducking in through the small opening of the service door, doing his best to keep the pathway clear with his water cannons as his human partner raced around.

There were 5 people were trapped in a ground floor office at the back of the building. The Flames had quickly cut them off from the exits. The fireman beat back the flames and had to break the door down with his axe. He found the office workers huddled in the corner. It was too dangerous to take them through the building all at once. He ordered the others to stay low and stay put. He wrapped the first woman in a fire resistant blanket and threw her over his shoulder. He told Heatwave through the breather helmets comm that he was coming out and informed Dani to be ready to treat for smoke inhalation and possibly a trip to the hospital.

They both gave the acknowledgement and Kade gunned it through the flame infested building. He came out of the fire trailing smoke and quickly put her down. Knowing his family would take care of the woman, he turned and immediately went back into the hell scape to rescue the remaining citizens.

The other trips were similar, one man was a bit more effort as he was on the larger size, but Kade managed his weight no problem. What was a problem, was that on each trip the visibility was getting worse by the second. The constant, ever present, knowledge that Heatwaves water reserves were not unending. As he ran to-and-fro, he could tell that the bot was using the water more sparingly where he could, using it just to keep the Fireman’s path clear rather than trying to battle the fire head on. On his last trip out Kade grabbed the hose form outside that had been hooked up to a hydrant and went running back in to help his partner.

That’s when shit had hit the fan…

From out of nowhere there was an almighty bang that shook the ground, the fire around them seemed to double in size and their way out was now cut off by fallen cargo and framework. The red head guessed a window blew out somewhere and created a backdraft. This caused an influx of fresh oxygen that only fuelled the raging fire. Kade swore and continued to spray. All around them were just walls of flame and burning inventory. The intense heat battered them ruthlessly, surrounding them in dense smoke and covering them in thick black soot. The human was boiling in his gear, all he could see were the dancing flames. All Kade could hear was the roaring, snapping and creaking of the fire and his own steady breathing. Sounding ridiculously loud inside the breathing mask.

No matter how they tackled it, the fire was steadily creeping in on them. Inch by inch, they were hemmed in, forced together with no clear way out. They were in trouble. Warnings flashing in Heatwaves HUD as his water levels reached critical levels. He might be able to withstand the heat better, but his partners fragile organic body would be roasted in minuets if he didn’t find a way out. A quick scan and he spotted a potential exist for the fireman.

“KADE! THE STAIR WAY TO THE UPPER FLOORS! GO AND GET TO THE ROOF! YOU NEED TOGET OUT IF HERE!” Heatwave yelled over the din as he struggled to hold back the oncoming flames. His water pressure dropping rapidly.   
“No chance! I ain’t leaving you!” The human yelled back over the din of roaring flames. “We’re in this together Partner!” 

The mech looked down at the human, form fuzzy in the thick acrid smoke. The young mans yellow uniform was now black, his breathing mask streaked with soot and dirt, Heatwave could see the sweat dripping down his face from behind the visor. Yet Kade continued to battle on, a picture of determination, stubbornness and bravery. Those were just some of the many things Heatwave adored about his organic lover. 

He wouldn’t leave him the mech realised. The dame fool would stay regardless of his own safety. He hadn’t left him when the lava came to test them and they’d barely known each other back then. The bot knew there was no way in the Pit Kade would willingly leave him now… he’d stay by his side even if it meant his life.

Heatwave had to take the decision away from him, not give him a choice, get him out before it was too late. 

His plan cemented and made all the easier when he heard the creaking and groaning of metal. He knew those sounds all too well. The buildings framework was buckling, the warehouse was on its last legs, it was going to come down around them any moment. There was no time to risk an argument, he had to act fast… there was no time for explanations…

Heatwave grabbed the human, a tad rougher then intended, but time was off the essence. The fireman yelled at him as the mech used the very last of his water to hosed him down. Then using all his former champion lobbing skills to be as accurate as possible, he aimed and hurled the young man through the only clear-ish opening… A high glass window…

Kade screamed the mechs name as he went flying. His hart seizing with fear, everything seemed to stop, time grinding to a slow crawl. Kade saw Heatwave haloed in flame, his armour scorched and covered in black. His optics as bright as the flames around him. His expression, one that conveyed so much in one look it enraged Kades soul and broke his hart all at once. It told him that Heatwave was not sorry for what he’d done… and that he did it because he loved him.

It wasn’t till he heard the smashing of glass did everything return to normal…

<<>><<>><<>><<>>

Outside the other Burns’s worked busily while combatting the out of control flames. The chief and Chase tried to keep on looking people and at a safe distance. Graham and Boulder creating fire blocks and trying to re route water supply needed to hell quench the fire. Dani and Blades efforts with the scoop claw were futile, dumping the water onto the roof seemed to make little to no impact. 

At the sound of shattering glass, everyone looked up, people screamed as a soot blackened body came soaring out the window followed by a plume of fire. The Burns family watched in abject horror as they saw the fireman fly through the air, then impacted on the hard tarmac with a sickening thunk and showered by glittering shards of glass. His helmet and breathing apparatus were smashed as he hit the ground, the young man bounced, rolled and skidded at speed till he hit a wall of a nearby building. Hitting the back of his head against the brick wall with a sickening crack.

“KADE!” Chief Burns cried out and ran, horrified and distressed at seeing he oldest son crash into the pavement and knowing how badly he must be injured. He was at the red heads side in moments, he quickly assessing the damage. He could hear Blades landing nearby, Dani jumping out of her partner as soon as he had transformed, her medical kit in her hand. 

Kade was just barely conscious, his face a bleeding mess of scraped flesh that were covered in grit and dirt and glass form where he’d travelled across the ground, there was a large gash on the back of his head which was pouring with blood. They couldn’t tell what other injuries he’d sustained underneath his thick protective uniform. Both were afraid to even touch him for fear of causing more damage.

“Dad! We need to get him to the hospital now! I’ll get the air lift board.” Dani said urgently, getting to her feet and running back to her bot. If her brother had, and it was very likely, gotten internal injuries, he needed professional treatment immediately. Every horrid scenario running through her head. he could be bleeding out from a broken bone severing an artery. A broken rib could have punctured a lung. Kade could have suffered damage from smacking his head. 

“Don’t worry son, everything’s going to be fine.” The grey haired man said softly, trying to keep his voice steady. “Just lie there and be still for me.” His dads voice sounded so distant. It was hard to focus on it, or anything else. Despite the pain and drowsiness he felt, Kade had only one thing on his mind.   
“He-he-wa…”He mumbled, mind swimming, sinking deeper into murkiness, everything was sluggish and out if focus. Everything felt thick and far away, like he was suspended in maple syrup. Kade started to drifting in and out of consciousness. He could just make out the distant hellish sound of screams and shouting.

“NO,NO!” came a deep bellow. “HEATWAVE!” Bolder cried out. The rescue workers, bots and citizens could only look on in terror at the scene that was unfolding before them. It took all the fireman’s remaining will to turn his head…

The last thing Kade saw as his world went back was the blazing building, coming down…


	2. After the Fire Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the devastating fire...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying a new way of checking the chapters. 
> 
> Let me know if this is helping and its flowing better

The first thing Kade knew as consciousness seeped back into his body, was that wherever he was, it was incredibly bright and that he was reclined on something soft. Next was that his mouth and throat felt like a desert and his stomach felt empty to the point it made him feel queasy. Sensation slowly started to filter through his limbs, he felt numb all over, but also heavy. Every part of him felt like cement blocks. His head feeling like it was stuffed with cotton wool. A steady distant beeping could be herd along with the chirping of birds. Slowly he cracked open his eyes, it hurt. 

The right eye only opened partly and its vision blurry. Blinking rapidly, he tried to correct it and adjust to the light. It didn’t really help. In fact only making his eye sting. The light and birdsong was coming from the large open window, the bright sun streaking in through the clear glass, letting in and focusing the sun’s rays, making the room comfortably warm. The sky was clear blue with fluffy clouds, a light, cool breeze brushing his hot face . 

As it was too much of an effort to move, Kade resorted to just slowly moving his eye’s over the room. Clearly he was in a hospital room, it was minimal, clean, with a few pieces of equipment dotted around, one of which was making the beeping. He watched the screen for long moments, just watching the readouts of what had to be his heart, blood pressure and other such things. Finely his eye’s landed on a figure he hadn’t even realised was sitting beside the bed, his farther. The policeman looking frazzled and all his long years. The older man’s head was resting against his fist.

“… Dad?” Kade croaked softly, immediately starting to cough at how dry his throat was. The chief’s eyes opened, head shooting up and instantly he was on his feet.  
“Oh son!” he cried, his eye’s glassy but his face full of relief. “Thank god. Here have some water.” The policeman said, pouring a cup and helping the red head drink. Kade sipped through the straw, the cool water was soothing his scratchy throat and removed what felt like a desert from his mouth.

“I’m so glad to see you awake son. You had us all pretty worried.” Chief said sitting on the edge of the bed and placing a warm comforting hand over his child’s.  
“Dad… what… happened?” The red head asked, this time his voice much easier to use. The grey haired man gave a hefty sigh, affection and pain all mixed together in his eyes.

“You suffered a pretty bad concussion, son. Doctors said you had some brain swelling, you’ve been unconscious for a few days. You’ve scratched up your face pretty good when you lost your mask. Some bad bruising. A few broken ribs and a badly broken arm, shoulder and collar where you landed… They had you in surgery to put in plating and pins they were so badly broken. But you were so lucky you didn’t break your back or crack your head open… but you didn’t, and you’re going to be alright…”

Kade could see the tears in his farther eye’s. The older mans voice was tight with emotion, he had clearly been very worried. From the sounds of it rightly so.

“Are you in any pain?” The chief asked.  
“Ugh… not really…” Kade said softly, having to think about what his body was telling him. “Feel… kinda… floaty…” he tried to explain.  
“That’ll be the morphine they’ve been giving you.” Chief gave a somewhat relieved laugh. “Only the good stuff for my son.”  
“Is everyone alright?” Kade asked. He didn’t miss his fathers expression falter a little.  
“You saved everyone son, you got everyone out.” He said softly. It wasn’t till his dad said the last part, did it trigger the red heads memory.

It all came crashing back to him… 

Heatwave and the surrounding inferno. Being trapped. The mech grabbing him. The bot throwing him. Dear god the look on his face… 

He remembered hitting the ground… then things got murky… but he did remember the worst sight imaginable… he prayed it had just been wakening nightmares for a concussed addled mind…

“Dad… the building… Heatwave was inside?” He forced out, throat starting to feel like sandpaper again. “Is he alright? Did he get out?” The old mans smile dropped completely and he cast his eye’s down. Kade felt as if his whole world started falling around his ears. He felt like he was going to throw up as his heart shattered in his chest. Tears springing up in his eye’s.   
“oh… oh no… dad, don’t,” Kade shook his head, fully prepared to deny what his farther was apparently trying to say. He wouldn’t hear it. It couldn’t be true. “He’s not… Don’t you dare say he’s… he’d not… he cant be…” Kade started to cough violently again, his dad encouraging him to take another sip of water as he spoke.

“Kade, easy! Please, calm down, son. He’s not dead.” Chief soothed, the sudden relief that flooded the young man’s body was better than any drug. It eased his coughing and let out along sigh as he lay back against the pillows, feeling far too tired for the time he’d been awake. The fireman took a few moments, thanking god that Heatwave wasn’t gone, but looking back at his farther only to find a deeply sad look on his face.  
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Kade asked, voice horse and scratchy. “Heatwave’s alright isn’t he?”

“Heatwave was hurt too, son, just as badly as you.” The policeman said softly. “He had a flaming building collapse on him. If he hadn’t of thrown you out when he did…” the Chief couldn’t bring himself to voice what would have been the inevitable outcome. Knowing that if a Cybertronian could just barely survive… a fragile human would have been roasted and then crushed alive. He could have easily lost his eldest son that day if not for the mechs actions. Yes, Kade had been injured badly, but he was alive, it was far better than the grief of losing him if he’d had died.

“The other bots had to dig him out once the fire was put out. Heatwave was in seriously bad shape. He’s back at the Firehouse,” Chief carried on, “Down in the bunker. He’s being looked after by Ratchet a Cybertronian doctor, Optimus sent his own teams medic. Apparently he’s the finest they have, he’s in good hands… But he’s not come back online… The doc’s patched him back up as best he can… but there have been complications and Ratchet’s said it’s now a waiting game.” 

That was all Kade needed to hear. He had to get back to Heatwave. Hearing that his lover was in such dire need, he wanted to be by his side. He needed to be there. His mech needed him. Kade tried to sit up, willing himself to move no matter how hard it was. He was not going to just lie here, he needed to get to his partner. But his body felt far too heavy and his vision was disjointed and lagging. He started to paw at the cannula in his hand, trying to get it out… he needed to leave, he wanted to be with Heatwave. He wanted to be with his lover…

“Whooa! son! No! Lie still!” chief said firmly, stopping him from dislodging the needle. A gentle hand on his boys uninjured shoulder to make him lie back. Luckily the fireman was still so weak and drugged up it was easy to overpower him. Though it didn’t stop his verbal protests.  
“No! I gotta-I gotta go! Dad… Wave…. Heatwave… needs me…. I need to be there… with him…”

“Son, the bots medic is doing everything he can. There’s nothing you can do by going there now in this state. You’ll do yourself more harm than good. The best thing you can do for Heatwave is to stay put and get yourself better. Not just for him, but for all the family.”  
“B-but dad I can’t-” Kade pleaded weakly.  
“Yes you can. Doctors said that depending on how your recovery goes, they’ll discharge you in a couple of weeks.”  
“Few weeks!” Kade spluttered again trying to get up. “I can’t stay here… I need to be… there when Heatwave wakes up…”

“Please son, I was so afraid that I’d lost you! I can’t risk you again!” The policemen said sharply, making the young man stop his struggles. The older man hung his head as he spoke sounding so worn. “Kade I’ve never been so scared in that moment I saw you hit the ground. As we were taking you to the hospital I could see you losing so much blood. I really thought that we’d… that you were going to… Just… please, listen to your old man and lie there and get better…. Just, Do this for me. Please son?” Chief pleaded, looking at his oldest with beseeching eye’s. That painfully haunted and worried look was enough to make Kade settle back reluctantly. Kade couldn’t deny his farther anything, especially when he turned his pleading eye’s to him.

Though he loathed to admit it, his father was right. From the list of his injuries his dad gave him, he really was in no fit state to be discharged, let alone leave the bed. His dad had clearly been shaken by what had happened. It made Kade wonder how the rest of the family had handled it. Probably not well, the fireman thought, Poor Cody must have been worried sick. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but, he also knew that he could do nothing for his beloved partner in this state… he’d have to stick it out here and get well. For his family… and for his alien lover. 

“Okay dad… I’ll stay…” Kade sighed heavily, resting back. His whole body seemed to start screaming at him, His wounds letting themselves be herd finely. He winced in pain, his whole left side starting to feel like someone had set it on fire.  
“Thank you Son. I’m going to go tell the doctor you’re awake and see if they can give you some more pain relief.” The policeman said, “I’ll call the others to let them know too. I’ll be right back.” The red head just nodded. His farther gave his hand another comforting squeeze before standing, he gave another order to stay put and rest before leaving, shutting the door gently behind him.

Kade just lay there… the burning pain throbbing in his battered body as he stared up at the grey tiled ceiling … but his foggy mind was churning and his hart was twisting in his chest as his thought dwelt on his partner. The pent up emotions, the fear, the relief and worry all crashing together in one traumatic muddle, driving him to tears. He let a few silently slide down his cheeks at the thought of his mech, unconscious and laying there alone in the bunker. 

He was never a particularly religious person… but he lay there and prayed… harder than he’d ever done before in his life… to anyone up there or down below that would listen… 

Please let Heatwave be alright… let him wake up… Kade, didn’t care what it would cost… he would give anything just to hear that stupid old rust buckets voice again… just God… let him wake up and be alright…


	3. family time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kade stay at the hospital is driving him batty when all he wants to do is bee with Heatwave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short and sweet one....

The rest of the family came to see Kade that evening. Dani looked like she’d been crying hard and flung her arms around her big brother, but promptly jumped back, spewing apologies and fresh tears when he yelped. Kade did his best to reassure her it was alright but that seemed to only make her cry more. Graham placed a gentle hand on his and gave it a squeeze. The older brother caught his bi-speckled siblings fingers and returned the silent gesture. They weren’t very touchy feely normally… but then this had been a near death experience and they wanted to silently show their affection for each other.

Cody was oddly quiet. He’d come into the room silently and stayed behind their farther, seemingly afraid to come near his oldest brother. It wasn’t till Kade smiled at him and said he was okay, did the young blond come closer. The boy then actually climbed onto the bed and curled up against Kades less injured side. Hiding his face to conceal tears. Kade said nothing about it, but put an arm around his little brother, a comforting hand ruffling his fine hair. Letting him cry out the fear and worry, just being there to reassure him that he was still alive.

They all talked a little, mostly about how worried and scared they’d all been. Kade telling them that it was just one of those things, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Then Graham pointed out, rather bitterly, that if the owner had kept up with the maintenance of the alarm system, the hellish incident wouldn’t of happened in the first place. Kade wouldn’t be in hospital and Heatwave wouldn’t be laying comatose on a medical slab at the fire station.

At the mention of his bot, Kade’s heart twisted in his chest. He missed his lover dearly, and it was killing him not being able to be near him. What made it even worse, was that no one even knew about their relationship. He couldn’t tell them about it now, he wasn’t strong enough to do so without the mech by his side for support. And the timing was just plain awful, he was still too afraid to admit that he wasn’t what they thought he was… that he wasn’t… normal. 

He was scared of what his family would think of him. If they’d even still want him around if he revealed what he and his partner had been doing in secret over the last year. What would his family think if he told them how deeply they felt about each other. That it was love. That he was madly in love with a two story high alien transforming robot and they had been having wild sex in the woods. Alright, maybe he wouldn’t tell them about the kinky sex, but even so… They wouldn’t understand. At least not right now. So he held his tongue and hid his aching heart as best he could. 

Kade tried to get as much information as possible about Heatwave from his family. About how badly he’d been damaged in the fire, his condition now and this Autobot Doctor that was treating him. What he’d done and what was he doing to make Heatwave better. But the visit was already taking its toll on him. He was having trouble focusing and staying awake. He couldn’t believe how tired he was just by talking, or how his body ached from the brief movements and physical contact. Chief announced that they should leave Kade to rest, Cody started to protest, but Chief assured his youngest that they’d visit again tomorrow.

One by one they said their goodbyes and Kade watched them go with a small smile, yet once left alone in the quiet room, with nothing but his thoughts… they quickly returned to his beloved partner. He’d do whatever it’d take to get out of here and back to the firehouse. 

He just needed to get back home…

<<>><<>><<>>

When Kade finely got a look at himself in a mirror a few days later. He was going to the bathroom, stubbornly having got out of bed and determined to use the toilet like normal, no matter how much it hurt. He was not going in a bed pan like an invalid. He actually jumped back from fright when he saw himself in the mirror. He hadn’t realised just how badly scraped up is face had been. His eye was swollen and bright red. Nearly the whole right side had been shredded, he had a sinking feeling there was going to be scarring . He really hoped it wouldn’t be too bad. 

Kade took a look at the rest of his body, though it was a little difficult with his arm strapped up. Peeking where he could, he saw that his body was in the same horrid state. Long lines of black Stitches where the surgeons had operated. Horrible bruises covering the majority of his torso. The fireman’s pail flesh now mottled with black, blue, purple and yellow. And he thought he had a problem with his freckles. At least he knew the bruises would fade… but the scars…

What would Heatwave think? Would he still find him attractive if he looked like two-face? The mech had always commented how perfect and flawless his skin was… would he now be turned off when he saw the welts and scars from surgery and injury? 

No… That wasn’t Heatwave…

Kade told himself that it wouldn’t matter to the mech. They had talked about this very thing happening. One of those daft conversations that people had, and Kade had been wondering if the mech would still want him when he was old and grey like his dad. As much as Wave had complemented him on his physical appearance, the mech had told him that no matter what he did or what happened… no matter what time or work did to change him… he’d still love him….

As he hobbled back to his bed and prepared for the argument he was going to have with the nurse who just caught him out of bed, Kade clung to that promise. Trusting that the mech would be true to his word.


	4. Homeward Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The doctors finely agree to release Kade. he's going home!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason it took age to find the time to check ths chapter.
> 
> work has been picking up crazy.
> 
> next chapter will aim to get out by the end of next week.  
> but i make no promises

After another agonizing long week later of bed rest and excruciating physio therapy, the doctors suggested that Kade may be able to go home. That was all he needed to hear, and after some non-stop complaining from the fireman, the doctors finely agreed to discharge him. Prescribing, two types of heavy duty painkillers. Signing him off work for at least 2 months to start his recuperation and to continue with his therapy, to be reviewed at a later date to see how he was healing. 

 

Kade was overjoyed, he couldn’t wait to get back home. To sleep in his own bed. Eat some decent food, Kade missed his Dad’s cooking. Maybe even take the time to try and tackle shaving. He’d had little choice but to let his facial hair grow out as it was too tricky and painful to shave right now. Plus his face was far to tender to touch, let alone get a razor to it. It was a good thing the hipster look was in at the moment, even if he wasn’t keen on the prominent Ginger beard he was cultivating. But more importantly, he’d get back to Heatwave. 

 

The rest of the family had been keeping him up to date with what Ratchet had been doing to help the downed Rescue bot. Apparently the Team prime member had worked tirelessly to try and bring Heatwave back round. From what they had told him, the medic had done a marvellous job with the physical, external damage. Heatwave looked brand new. But still… his systems refused to reboot. Nothing seemed to be working. 

 

Chief Burns came just before lunchtime to pick him up and sign the release forms. It took a while for Kade to dress with his arm still strapped up in a sling. Even with the painkillers, everything still hurt and ached like hell. His dad was patient and chatted easily with Kade while he got ready, helping him when asked. Saying how much the other’s had missed him. The fireman had missed his family too. Dani’s teasing, Grahams nerdiness, Cody’s optimism, Chase’s dry humour, Boulders kindness and Blades excitability. The comforting routine, sound’s and interactions of day to day life.

 

Once the paperwork was sorted, doctors instructions given and understood, farther and son made their way out of the hospital. The policemen insisted on pushing his oldest through the halls in a wheelchair, the fireman really didn’t have the energy or heart to argue with him. The people they past, called out greetings, stopped and took the time to say just how happy they were to see the fireman up and that Kade was alright. Commenting on how very brave he had been and how they hoped him a speedy recovery. After the 7th person to do this though, Kade was already tired and impatient to get going. The only thing he wanted was to go home to see Heatwave. Chief seemed to sense his irritation and quickly whizzed him through the rest of the building

 

Chase was waiting for them at the entrance. The rescue bot opened his passenger door for the injured human, the police bot noting, even with his father’s help, how gingerly Kade sat down. It was clear to see how much discomfort he was still in. It made the mech wonder if the Fireman should really be leaving the medical centre so soon. The chief had told them all just how badly Kade had been hurt. The wounds done to the epidermis of his face had more or less scabbed over, now in its natural organic healing process.

 

It had become an ugly, lumpy black and red patch. The surrounding skin, bruised, making a various array of distressing colours. Kades left eye was still very red from broken blood vessels. The new growth of red hair on his face made him look a lot older than he was. The human looked like a wreck. And that was the politest way Chase could have described him.

 

For Cybertronians, being injured was no less painful. But they could at least block and re rout sensors to lessen pain. They could withstand limbs being shot or torn off. He’d even been aware of some mechs and femms that had been ripped in two, blown up or even had their heads exploded from a stray bolt gun. All survivable. Given the right medic for the repairs, they could be up and running in a matter of hours. Back to full strength. No worse for wear.

 

But Organics were so fragile….

 

Their bodies made from billions of cells that had to work together. It was a delicate balance of regrowth and decay. For humans and other species like them, healing took so much time. And they were never quite the same afterwards. Torn flesh had to be sewn or stapled shut, the tissue left to slowly knit itself whole again. Broken and shattered bones needed time to fuse or be put back together with pins and metal plates. When organics got injured… there was no quick fixes, sometimes those injuries were life changing… or life ending. It made what Kade and others of his profession do so much more noble. 

 

“Hay Chase.” Kade smiled at the screen after his dad helped clip in his seatbelt. Kade was happy to see his father’s partner, he found that the moment he sat inside the bot, it gave him a reassuring feeling, a sense of complete security and protection. A comfort he’d sorely missed. Maybe he was imagining it, but he swore he could feel the waves of energy from the cop car. The steady pulse of his spark beat. The intricate shifting of his EM field. Perhaps he’d become sensitive to those things from all the time he’d spent with Heatwave? Whatever it was, it had a remarkably soothing effect on his shattered nerves and battered body. The young man couldn’t help but relax and sink back into the cars seat.

 

“Greetings Kade, may I say how pleasing it is to see you.” Chase said in his usual soft, polite tones. The firefighter was surprised how much he’d missed his steady, smooth voice. “Your farther has been quite worried, as in fact we all have been.”   
“Thanks buddy, Means a lot.” Kade smiled at the face on the screen, raising his good arm to pat the car roof affectionately before he could stop himself, letting out a grunt, his muscles screaming at him in protest as they stretched.

 

It was a habit he’d developed with Heatwave. It was a subtle and not explicit gesture but he knew from experience that the bot would be able to feel the affectionate touch. Their interiors were quite sensitive. He just hoped he didn’t overstep his boundary with the Police bot. Luckily, Chase mealy gave a small smile and nod as Chief got into the driver’s seat. The three of them setting off moments later.

 

Chase took extra care in driving home with his wounded human passenger. Making sure to avoid any potholes or tight corners that may aggravate or jostle the fireman’s recovering injuries. The Police bot was all too keenly aware of the young man’s wincing in discomfort from nearly every small bump and break. The mechs worry growing with each turn of his wheel, feeling responsible for causing the fireman even the smallest amount of pain. He started apologising after every move he made. Kade having to constantly reassure him, telling him it was alright and that it couldn’t be helped. Chase resorted to going no faster than 20mph, refusing to increase speed in case it hurt Kade anymore. Even if it meant he was breaking the law. The red head was secretly very touched by the ridiculous but caring gesture.

 

It took a while for them to reach their destination because of the slow speed. But the moment Kade saw the firehouse, he immediately felt like a weight had lifted from him. Home. There really was no place like it. 

 

They pulled into the open Garage doors and Kade chuckled to himself, smiled as he looked through the windshield at the small gathering of people there. In attendance was his siblings and the bots, as well as Frankie, Doc Green, Professor Baranova and Cici. He could see a huge glittery banner, clearly the handy work of Blades, hanging from the back wall. The words ‘WELCOME HOME KADE!’ sparkled in reds and gold. Graham was at Chase’s door with another wheelchair for his brother. The fireman shot his brother a disgruntled look, but the trip had made him both drowsy and sore. He was already far too tired to make any real protest. With a little help from his younger brother he managed to get out of Chase and into the chair. It was true what they said, you really don’t appreciate how much you take your body for granted till it’s not working. 

 

“Kade!” Blades cried happily, practically bouncing on his peds. “Welcome Home! We missed you!”   
“It was kind of a shock to us all that we did.” Dani smirked and hugged her big brother carefully. “It was way too peaceful without your charming wit around here.”  
“Heh, well I guess I missed you all too.” Kade sighed overdramatically. 

“We are so glad to see you up and about, Kade.” Professor Baranova said, resting a gentle hand on his good shoulder. “I must say… The bearded look is quite dashing on you.”   
“Who knew you’d make a good hipster.” Graham teased. A wave of laughter rippled through the gathered group. It was inexplicably wonderful to be back among his family and friends. The warm familiarity and comfort seeping into his tired shattered bones and tattered skin like a soothing balm.

“I can’t tell you how happy we are to have you back home.” Bolder smiled kindly, leaning down. “How are you feeling?” His gentle face one of utter concern. It made Kade smile as he looked up fondly into the bulldozers orange optics.  
“I’m glad to be home, buddy. And how I’m feeling,” He let out a long breath, “I’m still pretty beat up… signed off work for the next couple of months. Hurt like hell.”  
“Then you should probably go upstairs and rest.” Bolder suggested.   
“I concur. Organic beings need time to regenerate their body tissues.” Chase said knowingly. “I hear Chicken Noodle soup aids in replenishing ones health and stamina. I would be happy to prepare some for you?” Before anyone could jump in and prevent the Police bot for attempting another culinary misadventure, Kade spoke up.

“Guys, as great as that sounds, forget about me, where’s Heatwave?” He said, looking round the gathered people. “I wanna see him. Where is he?”


	5. diagnosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kade is home and wants to go see his downed bot. Optimus Primes Medic is there to fill the young man in....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hay guys!
> 
> hoping you all are enjoying this still
> 
> i never thought i'd love this ship as much as i do! XD
> 
> thank you all so much for the lovely comments!
> 
> i may not reply (I am frightful busy at present with work) but rest assured, i do read them all and i love hearing form you 
> 
> you're all fab! XXX

Kade watched as sad looks passed between the gathered people. The rest of the Burns family tried to persuade Kade to go upstairs and rest, but he was having none of it. He’d already waited this long to see his bot, if he had to wait any longer Kade said, in no uncertain terms, that if he didn’t see Heatwave right now, he was going to lose his temper and start throwing things. It was then that Doc Green, Professor Baranova and the girls excused themselves from the fire station. Again saying how happy they were for him to be home and that they’d come by soon to visit.

 

The family then solemnly made their way to the elevator and then down to the bunker. With each second that ticked by, horrid dread filled the fireman. Weighing heavily in the pit of his gut, nervous anxiety making him twitchy. Everyone looked so grim and the atmosphere was so thick with tension he could of choked on it. Surely Heatwave couldn’t be as bad as that? Was he really that hurt enough to make even his always optimistic youngest brother go silent and glum? It didn’t bode well… 

 

Once in the bunker, Graham wheeled Kade over to the concealed hidden section of the under base, the part of the bunker that the bots had really claimed as their own. It was where the Autobots kept their stasis pods, work benches and other Cybertronian sized equipment. It was the logical place to keep and treat a comatose alien robot. 

 

The fireman’s eyes immediately falling on the still figure laying on a slab at the back of the vast room as they entered. A wash of frantic and mixed emotions swamped him. Almost too much for him to deal with all at once. Joy and relief at just seeing him again, but also a gut wrenching anguish that seeing his beloved grumpy sour puss of a partner, laying so still and so quiet. Knowing that Heatwave had been like this for weeks with no sign of waking only made it harder to deal with.

 

All around the still mech were what looked like monitoring equipment, numerous cables trailing from open panels in his arms and body, linking him to screens. Each displaying different readings in what Kade knew was Cybertronian. The only movement from the bot was the steady cycling of his ventilation systems. Great slow and steady puffs of air were the only visible sign that the mech was still alive. Kade could feel his hart literally tearing itself up into pieces in his chest. His eyes stinging as he fought back sad tears.

 

Sudden movement caught his eye, a mech Kade had never seen before and hadn’t even noticed was by his fire trucks side. This new Autobot looked to be about his partners size, with a broad and sturdy frame. He had bright white armour, highlighted with scarlet patterning and a striking chevron like crest on his helm. Kade could make out hints of wat looked like an Ambulance alt mode. The bot looked at monitors with a deep frown on his lined and stern looking silver face. He rubbed the red trim on his chin thoughtfully as he watched the monitors. 

 

“Ratchet? Can we come in? Heatwave has a visitor.” Boulder asked gently.   
“You may, but not for long, I have some tests I’d like to run.” The medic said, his voice full of authority. It was then the mech looked up from the screens, then down at the humans. Taking in the group with an efficient gaze, his optics locking onto Kade almost immediately.  
“Kade, this is Ratchet. Optimus Primes Medic and Autobot CMO.” Graham said, sounding to his brothers ears, somewhat star struck. “Seriously Kade, Ratchet is amazing. Heatwave couldn’t be in better hands.”

 

“Ugh… hay.” The red head offered a short wave and nod to the doctor. “Good to meet you.” Ratchet gave him a curt nod back before looking at him more critically. His bright turquoise optics calculating. It made Kade shift a little under that intense gaze.  
“Kade Burns, how are your injuries?” The medic inquired, his tone one of cool professional concern. “I understand you suffered a considerable amount of damage in the incident.”

 

“Yeah, uh, I’m-I’m okay.” Kade tried to shrug , but his shoulder ended up screaming at him in defiance again. He grunted in pain, but shook it off. “I’ll get over it… But I wanna know how he’s doing?” Kade asked, indicating to his partner.  
“How much have you been told?” Ratchet inquired.  
“Not much… Just that he won’t wake up. Please, can you just tell me what’s happened to him?” Kade pleaded tiredly. “I just wanna know what’s going on…”

 

“Very well, I just wish I had better news for you,” The medic sighed, looking back over his shoulder at the prone bot. “I’ve repaired nearly all of the physical damage. Replacing broken hardware is relatively simple, even given the hideously primitive resources on this planet. Doctor Green and Graham have been most helpful in that regard. Unfortunately there was substantial damage sustained to his neural processor unit and memory banks. I’m still in the process of repairing what I can there. Something happened, weather it was from the heat of the fire or the collapse of the building, I cannot be certain. But from the scans and diagnostic reports I’m getting… I fear that some significant information has been lost.”

 

That did not sound at all good. Kade knew how devastating it could be when a laptop gets broken and you lose all your files. He’d known people being reduced to tears when that had happened to them. But this wasn’t just a fancy computer or just some word documents… This was a person’s mind they were talking about… His thoughts, His memories, His feelings… they were affectively talking about brain damage. 

 

Heatwave could be brain damaged… it made Kade want to cry and be sick at the same time.

 

“What kind of information is gone?” Kade asked slowly, not sure if he really wanted to know. Ratchet let out a slow puff of air as he shifted positions to tap at a blinking screen.  
“I’m afraid we won’t know for sure what’s been lost until he comes back on line. But… saying that…”  
“But what?” Kade demanded, not liking where this was going. Ratchet looked at him steadily, those blue-green crystal optics stern but held compassion there too. At least Kade was sure he wasn’t going to be lied to or have things sugar coated by this mech. He could appreciate that, no matter how hard it was to hear.

 

“As I said… it was extensive damage. If his core information has been corrupted enough, it could be what’s preventing him from booting back up. And if that’s the case… I may not be able to help him at all.”

 

The silence that followed was deafening.

 

Kade felt numb as the medics words slowly sank in. everything felt far away. Even the pain in his body. It couldn’t be true! It wasn’t right! Heatwave couldn’t leave him like this! That horrid sick feeling was creeping in at the back of his throat again. He was finding it difficult to process what had been said and keep his warring emotions in check.  
“Do you understand what I’m saying?” Ratchet asked, his gentle voice bringing the young man back.

 

“Ugh…so… what you’re saying is… Is that… he-he might… not wake up?” the red head said slowly, unable to stop the waver and tremble as he spoke. “Ever.” He looked up, foolishly hoping that he had misunderstood, that was not what the white mech meant. But the look on the Medics face quashed any hope he had.

 

“I am sorry to say… that it is a possibility.” Ratchet said solemnly. “Though by no means certain yet… you should prepare in case of that outcome…”

<<>><<>><<>><<>>

 

That night Kade lay in his own bed. he stared up at the ceiling, the soft glow of his lamp bathed everything in a warm cosy light. The one place he should feel most at ease. Yet all he felt was bitter cold and utter loneliness. He hurt. In body and in soul. His flesh and bones ached while his heart pined desperately for his injured lover.

 

Heatwave was gravely ill and there was absolutely nothing he could do to help…

 

Kade didn’t want to be here. He wanted to be down there with his bot. To sit there and curl up beside him. Even if it was just to listen to his systems ticking over and the gentle drag and puff of his ventilations. He just wanted to be near him. Touch him. Tell Heatwave that he was there and he hadn’t given up on him. He wanted to freaking yell at him for being so bloody stupid and to wake the fuck up! He wanted to kiss him and tell him he loved him… 

 

But he couldn’t do any of those things… his family wouldn’t understand why he’d want to… he was convinced they wouldn’t accept him if they found out the truth about them… about him… That he was a filthy freak who got off on fucking Robots. He just couldn’t handle the prospect of recovering from his injuries, the possibility of his families disgusted contempt and all topped off with the very real chance of losing Heatwave all in one swoop.

 

As he lay there in his bed, the more he dwelt on things, the darker and more desperate his emotions turned. A slick slope that quickly had him biting on his knuckle to stifle any sound. Fat tears roll down his face as utter despair flooded his soul. Wallowing on the very worst that may yet happen.

He may never hear Heatwaves wonderful gruff voice call him an idiot again…  
He may never again get to see those beautiful amber optics gaze at him with affection…  
Never again would he feel the bots gentle touch, or be enveloped by the mechs comforting EM field…  
They’d never watch another movie on the hill together and listen to the alien complain about how silly it was…  
They’d never again have fun, wild amazing sex under the dappled light of their little forest clearing…   
Kade may never again hear Heatwave say ‘I love you’…

The strong young man crumbled in on himself, hand over his mouth as painful sobs wracked his broken body. He willed himself not to make a sound no matter how much he wanted to scream and curse, he didn’t want to draw attention from his family. They couldn’t help him, they wouldn’t help him if they knew…

All he could do was lay there and let the tears fall.

“Please…. Please, be okay…,” he prayed tearfully, to anyone in the universe that could hear him. “Oh god, please let him be okay…..”


	6. Bow and Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley has come over to see her boyfriend after his devastating accident...
> 
> Kade is struggling to cope...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit, ive been so bad!
> 
> i've had these next chapters pretty much done (just some tweaking to be done) fore ages.
> 
> the joys of adulating....
> 
> let me know if you guys still liking it.
> 
> thanks for sticking with me.

A week later…. Heatwave still hadn’t rebooted…

Ratchet had informed them that even though there had been some improvement in the damaged of the fire trucks processer, it still wasn’t enough to bring him round. The old medic said that it was a good sign and very encouraging. He would continue to do what he could for the young bot, It just meant that they would all just have to be patient and remain hopeful. That was easier said than done for Kade. He was not known for his patients at the best of times.

 

Every hour Heatwave remain unconscious tore another chunk out of the young man’s sanity. Every minuet caused Kades aching heart to crack further under the pressure of keeping all his feelings bottled up. Not being able to tell his family just why he wanted to constantly be by his partner’s side, just sitting next to him for hours on end, like an old faithful dog abandoned by the roadside. The red head wanted to scream in anger and punch something in frustration at not being able to do anything to aid in his lovers’ recovery. He just ended up crying silently every single night, it being the only release he had. Exhausting him-self to sleep only to wake up and start the same thing over again.

 

Kade was reaching the end of his tether. He couldn’t take much more of this seemingly endless limbo of not knowing, pain and despair. It was hindering his own recovery… The young man didn’t care or want to do his physio therapy, his farther and siblings almost having to drag him away from Heatwaves side to make him attend his appointments and do his workouts. Even food was unappealing, most of the time Kade just wasn’t hungry. This worried the Burns family, it was unlike the oldest son to be off his food. The family had to remind him to eat and even then they had to practically shove meals into his mouth to get him to eat anything. He ended up forcing just enough down to get them off his back. He was starting to visibly lose weight.

 

It just seemed all so wrong to Kade. It killed him that he was awake and recovering (if slowly) and his beloved bot, who always seemed so indestructible, was not.

 

It was inevitable that he would come to a breaking point.

 

It was a day when Hayley had come round to see her Boyfriend. Bringing him a lovingly prepared, homemade cherry pie. She just wanted to check up on him and spend some time with him. They hadn’t seen much of each other since he left the hospital. Unfortunately for the poor woman, Kade was having a particularly low day and her mere presents enough to rub him completely the wrong way. Everything she did or said grated on his already frazzled nerves. Her voice like shards of glass raking down his back. Every time she touched him, Kades skin would crawl unpleasantly and he would move out of her reach. Her kindness and sweetness was nauseatingly insipid and mocking to him.

 

It was hell, likely the poisonous mix of stress from the past few weeks since the fire and his ever present gnawing guilt over cheating on her. His elicit and secret affair with his alien partner had never sat right with him. This toxic and explosive cauldron of conflicting emotions finely pushed him to snap. The young botanist had just suggested that when he was feeling more himself, that they should go away together. A nice short break to the mainland where Kade could relax away from work and family, so they could have some quality time together while he recuperated.

 

Bile rose up in the red heads throat. Kade couldn’t imagine a worse scenario. 

 

He didn’t want to go anywhere with her. He just wanted his lover back. He wanted Heatwave awake and back to being himself. Kade desperately wanted his alien partner to come back to him. He didn’t want anything more to do with the woman at his side. He certainly didn’t want to spend a ‘romantic’ weekend away with her. Where once he craved her attention, now he found that just being in her presence made him want to run a million miles in the opposite direction. Kade just wanted her gone. It threw into sharp contrast and made abundantly clear to him just how much he was in love with his bot over her. Next to him, she could never compare. 

 

“I told you I’m fine! I don’t need to go anywhere! I’m needed here!” Kade snapped as he hobbled back towards the firehouse. He’d gone for a walk to try and distract him-self from really talking to her, but his shoulder and leg were now killing him and he had the mother of all stress headaches.   
“No, you’re not!” Hayley cried following after him. “I can see you’re completely wrung out! It’ll be good for you! You’re not going to be okayed for work for ages. Besides your family are quite capable of dealing with any emergency’s for a few days! You went through a traumatic accident! You need a break!” 

 

“I might not be fit for active duty, but I can still run the monitoring hub.” Kade growled. “I don’t need a dame break!” Hayley rolled her eye’s and threw her hands up in exasperation.   
“I don’t get it? Why are you pushing yourself like this? Are you that desperate to work yourself into an early grave? I’m really worried about you Kade” The blonde woman said, reaching out to touch his arm. The fireman wrenched his arm away so she wouldn’t make contact, but caused him to hiss in pain at the aggressively sharp movement. Which only cased her to move closer to try and help. This only succeeded in making him feel more cornered and trapped.

 

“Look! couldja just… leave me alone!” Kade ground out through gritted teeth, stepping back  
“No, Kade! What’s going on?! Talk to me! Whatever is wrong we can work this out, together! But you need to let me in.”  
“I don’t wanna let you in!” He yelled. “I don’t need to let you in! And I certainly don’t need you to come around here and suffocate me with constant nagging!” Hayley looked flabbergasted.  
“Kade! I’m not nagging! I’m just trying to be here for you! I’m trying to help you!”  
“well guess what, I DON’T NEED YOUR GOD DAME HELP!” The young teacher was stunned into silence by her boyfriends outburst and could only stare up at him. Unfortunately that seemed to only increase the fireman’s ire.

“Stop looking at me like that! Okay, Hayley. You know what, just. Go! Get outta here! Leave me the hell alone! In fact, you know…” he yelled, whirling round on the pretty blond, his blue eye’s cold and hard. “Let’s just end this whole thing now!”  
“Wh-End what now?!” she stammered out, still in shock.  
“You want me to spell it out?! This! Us! We’re done, Okay! It’s over!” He snarled.  
“Kade…. You don’t mean that…” She said softly, tears starting to form in her eye’s.  
“I know exactly what I mean! Let’s face it, we were never going anywhere, were we? We don’t match. We were never going to last. So let’s just do us both a favour and call it a day on us.”

“What the hell?!” the poor woman was left open mouthed and speechless. But her sadness was quickly replaced by anger, it boiled up and she snapped back with venom. “You know what?! Fine! If that’s what you really want! You are such a god dame jerk Kade Burns! Why the hell I ever gave you the time of day is beyond me!”  
“Well all the more reason for you to leave then!” Kade said snidely.  
“Goodbye Kade.” Hayley snapped, turned on her heel and left.

Kade stomped back into the firehouse, or at least as aggressively as he could given he was still walking with a crutch. He came in and headed straight for the bunker. His face like thunder as he punched the call button on the lift much harder than necessary. Unbeknownst to him that the whole incident had been seen.

Chief scowled disapprovingly at the monitor. He’d seen the entire exchange, though he didn’t know what had been said, but he knew from the body language that they had one doozey of an argument. Judging by the devastated look on Hayley’s face, his son had hurt the young woman’s feelings greatly. He knew the young man was still in a lot of pain and worried about his partner, but they was absolutely no excuse to treat someone like that, especially when they were just trying to be a supportive partner.

Charles thought he’d raised his kids better than that. He believed it was time for some fatherly intervention… and give his son a good tongue lashing for his behaviour….


	7. The Truth Comes Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chief confronts Kade about the argument with Hayley... Kade finely breaks...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not feeling to hot right now... 
> 
> i gave blood yesterday and i reacted rather badly... not felt right since...
> 
> i cant even lose blood properly -_-'
> 
> so i'm sitting up and editing/finishing story chapters while my stomach dose flip-flops
> 
> luckily... cleo cat is keeping me company
> 
> comments and kudos give me life...

The chief found his eldest son just where he thought he would, standing on the platform next the berth of his comatose partner. The room was empty apart from him and Heatwave. Ratchet was back a Prime HQ attending to his regular duties for Optimus and his own team. The doctor wouldn’t be back till later that evening to check on his patient and with everyone else out, the chief knew he had the time and space to have a good long talk with his son about his behaviour.

 

“Kade. We need to talk.” He called sternly, preparing to give Kade a firm dressing down as he scaled the sloped walkway to his son.  
“Not now dad.” The red head said, his voice tight and gruff as he turned away from his farther, but the police chief was not going to be swayed by a growl.  
“No. Now. What the hell is going on with you?” The grey haired man demanded. “How dare you speak to Haley like that! That poor girl has done nothing but be supportive! She’d tried everything to help you and be there for you and you’ve done nothing but ignore her and give her the cold shoulder! I know your hurt but that doesn’t give you the right to treat someone that cares about you like dirt! The way you have been treating her is shameful and-and… ” 

 

Chief trailed off when he noticed that Kade was shaking… His broad shoulders heaving with quiet sobs. It was startlingly out of character. His boy was always so strong and rarely let his softer emotions show through the matcho bravado. Kades default when he was upset was anger, not tears… it set alarm bells ringing in the older man’s head, something was really wrong. 

 

“Kade? Kade? son, what’s going on?” Charles asked, a deep confused frown forming on his brow.  
“Dad I-I…” The fireman choked out, voice trembling. Chief Burns watched, concern turning into startled shock as his eldest son literally crumbled before him, slumping to the floor in a broken heap. “Oh god, Dad… I can’t… I don’t- I can do-do this anymore…” He sobbed, tears sliding down his face.

 

All thoughts of chastising his child flew out of his head at seeing him so battered and clearly hurting. The police officer was by his side in an instant. Like any good parent he couldn’t stand to see his offspring is any distress. Kade hadn’t been himself since he woke up in the hospital, seeming to get worse upon arriving home and seeing the extent of the damage his partner had sustained. It was clear that the potential loss of his Cybertronian partner was hitting the fireman harder that anyone could have predicted. The thought occurred to the chief that maybe all of Kades recent behaviour, his lack of appetite, his slow recovery and his coldness towards Hayley, could perhaps all be put down to guilt. 

 

Was Kade unconsciously punishing himself for Heatwave condition?

 

“Whoa, Kade… Son,” The chief said softly, placing a gentle hand on his arm. “It’s not your fault Heatwave is like this. There’s no need to be so harsh on your-self.” He actually jumped when Kade’s head shot up and looked offended at the suggestion.  
“Wha? Dad, I know it’s not my fault!” The fireman cried indigently, “We were doing our jobs! We both know the risks when we go in!” That surprising answer only confused the policeman further. If Kade wasn’t upset because he blamed himself for the bots injuries, then just what was upsetting him so much?

 

“Son… I don’t understand? Please, tell me what’s wrong?” The chief implored him. “I can’t stand to see you like this. This isn’t you. What’s wrong?! Please just talk to me!”   
The broken young man sat there, his bloodshot, glassy blue eyes, meeting his furthers warm brown one’s. Kade literally could not cope any longer. He had to tell someone. His fear and worry was eating him up and he needed to just let it all out or he was going to tear himself apart. His dad was here, they were alone and he was asking to be let in. But another fear reared it’s ugly head, his self-doubt and insecurities whispered hotly in Kade’s ears. What if he told his farther and he was disgusted by him? What if his dad told him to leave? What if his dad disowned him? Got him fired from his job…? One after another, the scenarios he conjured up got worse and worse, making his head buzz and his stomach twist till the whole world started to spin.  
,

“Kade… Son… it’s alright just- talk to me, Please.” His dad said with soft encouragement.  
“Dad… I don’t… how can I- I’ve been-you’ll- I-I’m-I-…” Chief watched in horror as his boy started hyperventilate. The red head was stressed and having an all-out panic attack. Not knowing how to cope or say what was troubling him. His eldest hadn’t had one since he was little boy. Yet another huge red flag going up in the officers head. What the hell could be so bad as to make Kade freak out this badly?

 

“Hay, hay! Take it easy. Look at me,” The older man said soothingly, his voice gentle and fatherly taking his sons hands in his own in an effort to ground him. “Now, clam down Son. Breath. It’s okay, everything is alright. There’s no rush. You have nothing to worry about with me,” He reassured him. “You’re safe and nothing is as bad as it seems. I promise you, whatever it is, we’ll work it out. Now, take your time and relax… deep breaths. Nice long… deep breaths…”

 

The red head dragged in one shaky breath after another, thankfully listening to his farther forcing himself too clam down. After a while his breathing returned somewhat to normal, but he was still clearly shaken. Kade hung his now aching head, he knew he had to tell his farther everything… get it over with… He couldn’t keep secrets anymore. Yet even with this resolve, he couldn’t bring himself to look at his farther… Kade didn’t want to see the disappointment in his eye’s when he told him the sordid truth about his first born son.

 

“Dad… Promise me… you-you won’t hate me…” Kade croaked out, thinking that perhaps if he made him promise he wouldn’t get mad. Though unseen by the red head, older human just regarded his son with deep affection and understanding. It often floored Chief just how insecure his big brash boy could be.  
“You know I could never hate you, Kade.” He said softly. “You’re my son and I love you, no matter what.”  
“After you find out what I’ve been doing… you may rethink that…” The fireman mumbled bitterly. The red heads lip quivering, fighting back more tears as he plucked up the courage to admit his greatest sins. “Dad, there’s-there’re some things about me… and some things that I’ve been doing lately that… you’re likely not going to approve off…”

 

“Like what?” Chief asked slowly, his mind running through all the possibilities of just what could his son be doing to make him think his own farther would hate him? His mind came up with all the worst (and plausible) things he could think of. Fighting? Gambling? Drink? Drugs? But he couldn’t see Kade doing any of those things, and surely his highly tuned cop senses would have tingled if there were any of the signs? Was it something to do with Hayley? Was he seeing someone behind her back? Was that why they had been barely spent any time together recently? Why he was being so cold with her? But again… that just didn’t seem like his boy.

 

“Son, just tell me what’s going on? I want to help, but unless I understand the problem, I can’t do anything.” He said gently. Kade was quiet for a long moment save for the sniffles, Chief giving him all the time he needed to compose himself. When the fireman spoke again, his voice was small, horse and so full of shame and guilt it physically hurt the older man to hear.  
“Dad… Heatwave and I have… Well we’ve… gotten closer…”he said softly.

 

“I’ve noticed. You two have been getting on a lot better lately.” The chief nodded, thinking on just how their relationship had drastically improved over the past few months. Yes, they still bickered, but it was more of the playful and affectionate kind of teasing. “Is this all because you two have become better friends? Son, we are all worried about him too. But there is no need to work your-self up like this.” The chief tried to comfort, but his words only seemed to frustrated the young man more.

 

“No dad, we’re-god! I mean… yeah, we’re friends, but it’s not…. It’s more,” Kade hung his head lower, his hands wringing each other as he tried to find the most tactful and less graphic explicit way of explaining their relationship to his farther. “Dad… Heatwave and I… We’ve been… intimate… together…” The policeman’s brow furrowed, still not understanding.  
“Kade I don’t-” The fireman’s head shot up before he could finish, he looked his farther in the eye, an anguished look in his face as he cried.  
“SEX! Dad! We’ve been having sex! Together!” The young man blurted out, making the grey haired man jump in surprise form the outburst and not just the words. “I’ve been having sex with Heatwave!” 

 

Chief Burns had to take a moment just to register what his son had said, he sat there in silence as his brain tried to possess the information and its implications. Kade gave a heavy sigh deflating like a worn out balloon and looked back down at the floor. His hands going back to their constant movement, he had to tell his farther the truth, even if he wouldn’t understand. Kade just had to get it off his chest and try and tell him why he was so upset regardless of the consequences. As his dad hadn’t said anything, Kade figured he better just tell him everything and see what the damage was at the end…

 

“It started months ago.” Kade said quietly, “I think I had a little too much to drink at Doc’s party. Heatwave was driving me home. We were having fun… joking around… some stuff was said… stupid stuff… I teased him… and… and I ended up in a clearing… with my pants round my ankles… and Heatwave… Heatwave was… Touching me… and-and-” the fireman trailed off, unable to finish as memories swamped him. Remembering how strange and exhilarating that first time had been. How it had awakened some deep dark part of himself he never knew existed.

 

Kade still couldn’t cope with just how much he was hurting inside. At how much he missed that solid warm touch. Those big bright optics, that deep voice or the bots soothing presents. The red heads eye’s burned; he sniffed loudly as more tears fell. Even though he still felt like shit, Kade honestly did feel a little better at just having told someone about them… Even if his gut was twisting, dredging the coming fall out.

 

Chief Burns was left stunned and shocked by the younger man’s confession. But he interpreted his son’s words and tearfulness a totally different way. A protective fire blazed white hot in his chest, along with a dreadful rage. From what it sounded like to him… was that alien robot been molesting his oldest son. 

 

Was that the dreadful answer to why his son was so utterly distraught? Had Kade been afraid and shamed into not telling him? Had his boy been suffering in silence? Bottling up and hiding this abuse for months?! Chief knew all too well that those who had been sexually assaulted and abused tended to blame themselves for not being strong enough to stop the attacker. With Kades personality… any attack on his masculinity would be devastating….

 

“Son, has he been hurting you?!” The older man demanded, taking a firm hold of the young mans arms, making his son look up at him. “Is that what this is about?! Has he been forcing you to do things you don’t want?! Are you afraid he’s going to wake up and… Continue hurting you?” Kades teary blue eye’s were wide and confused. Now he looked shocked and offended.

 

“Wha-NO! Dad! No! No! I’m not scared of him! Heatwave would never, ever hurt me!” Kade cried. “He’s never forced me to do anything I didn’t want! Waves’ been the kindest and most… amazing person I’ve EVER been with…” Kade said looking up at the still bot, fresh tears forming and rolling down his stained freckled cheeks. Some of the outrage fire simmered down in the chiefs chest.   
“Are you telling me… you wanted the contact? It was consensual?” The policeman asked carefully.   
“Yes!” Kade said miserably. “God help me… yes. Every time. I wanted it. That’s why we’ve been spending so much time together. We’ve been going off to… be together…”   
“To… be ‘intimate’?” The Chief clarified slowly. “To have… ‘sex’?” Kade nodded.

 

“I Know I’m been an absolute asshole to Haley,” He whined miserably. “But… I was scared and I didn’t want to lose what I thought it was I wanted! At first, Wave and I were just fooling around! But it turned into something else, dad. Something special. I don’t feel that way for her anymore. Wave has taken over my head and every time I’m with her, I know its no excuse but, I feel trapped and just want to get away from her and go back to him.” The fireman confessed.

 

“I’m sick to death worrying about him and it’s tearing me up to think he might never wake up and I’ll never hear his stupid voice again or argue with him or spend time with him or-or be with him…” Kade’s voice was breaking as a fresh wave of sobs racked his body. “God dad! I don’t know what I’m feeling! It feels like there’s a ton of brick crushing my chest! I can’t breath! I-I look at him and- and I just wanna cry because he’s turned my world upside down yet made it right! He’d made me feel things I didn’t think possible! And now his hurt and I can’t do anything to make him better! I want him to wake up and be a jerk to me again! Tell me I’m being an idiot cry baby… and I want him to hold me again…” Kade buried his face in his hands and cried. 

 

Now Chief Burns knew exactly what was wrong with his son…

 

“Your in love with him.” The old man said softly, not quite believing the words coming from his mouth. What shocked him most was that Kade didn’t even try and fight or deny it. He just looked up at his farther, his eyes red and glassy, making the blue shine all the brighter. Kades lip quivering as he nodded tightly, before a fresh wave of tears, mostly out of sheer relief that finely someone else knowing about them. The lifting of a burden from his shoulders.

“We-we told each other… How we really felt a week before the accident.” He admitted. A sad, painful smile crossed his face. “The idiot had been telling me for months that he loved me, but he was being a chicken shit and was to scared to tell me out right…” Kade let out a bark of a laugh as he wiped his face with the back of his hand. “Who knew a badass like him could get scared of three little words right?”

 

“Kade… why didn’t- why haven’t you tell us about any of this?” the chief asked.  
“Are you kidding Dad? I barely understood what I was doing till recently. And…I was afraid…” the young man admitted.  
“Of what?”  
“You… and the others…. What you’d all think of me… I didn’t want you all to hate me…” He said softly, eye’s cast away in shame. “Or-or think I was disgusting…”

 

The chief sat there in silence. It was all so unexpected, incredible and unbelievable to hear. What had the bot done to win his sons hart? And do so, so completely? He always thought he knew his son better than anyone. Kade was easy to read and his personality and motivations simple to understand. Now the chief was starting to realise he’d been seriously misjudging and underestimated his eldest. There was a whole part of his life that he’d managed to keep so well hidden. Clearly out of sheer fear for what would happen if he told anyone, he’d been trying to protect himself and Heatwave from negative backlash, but only managing to torment and torcher himself in isolation.

 

The policeman said nothing but pulled his hurting son into a warm hug. 

Kade was stiff for a moment, not registering the meaning, before he literally melted into the comforting and reassuring embrace of his farther. Fresh sobs of relief and joy escaped him. Feeling again like he had as a small boy in the man’s strong arms. His dad saying so much with such a simple gesture.

 

Everything’s going to be alright. I’m here for you. I love you.

Kade returned the hug as best he could with a mangled arm… Quietly thanking any god that would listen for the wonderful man that was his farther. At last… Starting to feel that not quite all hope was lost…


	8. confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chief and Kade talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... one night of feeling ill.... i get three chapters out...
> 
> prehaps i should get ill more often....
> 
> nah... it fucking sucks....

“I felt the same when your mom…” The grey haired man said softly, feeling a little choked up remembering how it felt to be so head over heel’s for someone you couldn’t even think straight. He felt his son squeeze him back before letting him go. “I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this Son. I can’t imagine how hard this has been for you. But you really didn’t need to shoulder this all alone. You should have told me. You know you couldn’t do anything to make me stop loving you.” The chief said reassuringly, cupping his boys neck gently.

 

“So you’re not mad? Appalled?” Kade asked. “Disgusted that I’m a robosexual?”  
“Robosexual?” Charles repeated with a raised eyebrow.  
“I googled it.” Kade shrugged, roughly wiping his eye’s, he let out a mirthless laugh, still not meeting his furthers gaze “I was wondering if I was alone… It’s a thing apparently, that’s something I suppose…” The older man sighed and ran a hand through his grey hair.  
“I’m not going to lie son, I’m more than a little shocked… actually… Saying I’m floored might be a better. It’s not every day your child tells you their… sleeping with a robot.”  
“I’m sorry dad…” The red head said quietly, “I know you must be disappointed in me…”

 

“Hay, enough of that. Don’t be sorry and I am in no way disappointed. You can’t help how you feel or who your hart falls for. If its consensual, you’re both happy and safe doing… whatever it is you do together,” The chief was trying really hard not to think too much about just what the hell they might have been getting up to away from prying eye’s. “It’s not my place to judge you or your feelings. I’ll support you, because I love you too much to care about little stuff like that.” Chief smiled, his warm hand a comforting weight on his son’s neck as he drew him close to rest their foreheads together briefly. 

 

“Thanks dad,” Kade smiled, the first real one the policeman had seen from him since the fire. “That means… so much to hear you say that… so much. It’s been so wired for me, dad.” Kade admitted through sniffles. Wiping his nose on the back of his hand. “I never knew I could feel this way for someone. Let alone someone like him. Always thought I was, ya’know, straight as an arrow. But I guess it doesn’t matter seeing as he has no gender an all so technically he’s not a ‘guy’.” He laughed, doing some air quotes. The chief was rather confused by that statement… but really didn’t want to try and unpick its meaning right now. He’d leave that for another time… there were so many questions he had. Some he wanted answers to… others…. No so much…

 

“You two have been very discreet.” The chief said with a lot of admiration in his voice. “I didn’t suspect anything.”  
“heh, I guess we’ve learnt to be sneaky.” Kade snorted. “There’s a few place we go. The hill overlooking the drive through and Blossom vail has a spot there we really like.”  
“So that’s where your both been disappearing off too.” The chief chuckled. “And there was me thinking you two were just being really diligent about your duties.”  
“It was actually really hard to find time to be alone.” Kade admitted. “it was nice just to have a quiet peaceful moment alone from everyone…” Kade smiled sadly, remembering all the times they had spent together. “We’d just go, sit and talk, listen to the radio… watch movies… stargaze…” 

 

“It sounds like you two really sorted out your differences. And to think, at first, you both hated each other.” Charles said with a shake of his head.  
“I know, it’s insane! And now I’m so scared… I don’t want to lose him, Dad.” He said, voice quaking as he cast his glassy eyes up at the unconscious mech. “He’s honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I want him back. I don’t know what I’ll do if he-” Kade became choked as new tears sprang up.

 

“Hay now, don’t give up on him Kade,” Charlie said soothingly, placing a comforting hand on his boys good shoulder. “Ratchet is still hopeful and Heatwaves got a fighting spirit. Just continue to be strong for him and give him some more time.”  
“I’m trying, it’s just so difficult…” The fireman sniffled.  
“I know, but now you’re not dealing with it alone anymore.” Chief said comfortingly. “You have a family that loves you and that’s there for you.”

“Dad, please don’t tell anyone else about… me… us.” Kade asked suddenly, eye’s large and imploring, still holding more than a little amount of fear. “I’m… not ready for anyone else to know about us, that we-I’m… what I’m. Not just yet…” The older man smiled and nodded in understanding.  
“You have my word son, this is between us. You tell the others when your ready. But for now, you know if you need to talk, I’m right here.” He said seriously. “I don’t want you bottling all this up anymore. The only thing I will say is that you need to apologise to Hayley. The poor girl deserves that form you, even if you can’t tell her everything.” It was now Kade’s turn to nod, assimilating what his farther said, knowing that he was right.

 

“I will. Thanks dad… for everything.” The handsome young man smiled, love and affection for his farther shining through.  
“It’s all part of the job son.” He smiled kindly at his eldest, knowing that things were never going to be the same. But he found he was looking forward to the opportunity to get to know his son and who he was all over again.

<<>><<>>

 

Later that night, once everyone else in the firehouse had gone to sleep, with some difficulty, Kade made his way down to the bunker, clambered up the ramp and scrambled onto the berth beside his bot, a little tricky with a broken arm in plaster and still healing bones but he was determined despite the searing pain in his body. 

 

Everything was quiet, Ratchet had already been and gone, the only sound was the beeping of monitors. The only sign that he was alive was the constant rumble of his engines ticking over and the gentle huff and puff of Heatwaves ventilations. Kade walked the few awkward paces over to the bots helm and just looked at the resting face. His bright amber optics now dark, his form so still. 

 

Kade placed a gentle hand on the mechs face, tracing the intricate patterns of the metal plating, The shape of his optics and the angular jaw. Noting each little imperfection, dent or scratch. Things that made him more than just a collection of alien metal and wires. Things that made him a person, things that he’d unknowingly fallen in love with. If he could of he would cried again, but he had no more tears today. He was too tired, exhausted from carrying around his burden, from his outburst at Hayley and his subsequent unloading confession to his farther. It had all been too much. He had no more energy, not even enough to muster up a sniffle. At least for today…

 

There was no one around. Kade knew this but he still cast a wary eye around the sick room before he lent over and placed his lips against the rescue bots. It broke his heart a little more to find the metal was warm but so unresponsive. He rested his forehead against the mechs face for a moment, hand splayed over his cheek.

 

“Please wake up Wave… Don’t leave me. Please… I need you back… I miss you so much,” Kades voice, wobbled with all his desperate emotions. “I love you…” he said and placed another kiss on the bots face. But this wasn’t a fairy tale… a lovers kiss was not an all healing cure all. Heatwave and Kades fate were resting on Ratchet’s skills and the fire trucks own ability to heal him-self. It was agonizing to have no control or ability to help him.

 

The red head gave a sad, hefty sigh. With some more difficulty, he managed to get down onto the berth and curled up in the crook of the bots neck, he wrapped the blanket he brought with him around his shoulders. He rested against the hard warm metal, closed his eye’s and listened to the steady regular drag and hiss of the mechs intakes.

It was not a lot… but it was something….


	9. Reboot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Withe the help of Graham and Boulder, Ratchet attempts to wake up Heatwave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found my writing hack...
> 
> it involves going to Creams, eating cake and listening to epic music...
> 
> literally finishing this while im in bed and posting before i go to sleep...
> 
> hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

“Alright… I’m going to try and bring Heatwave out of his stasis lock.” Ratchet said as he tinkered with the monitors. “I will attempt to try and coxes his systems into booting up.” Everyone had gathered in the makeshift medical bay, waiting with baited breath. All silently hoping it would work, but none more so then his partner and secret lover. 

 

It’d been another long and agonizing week of nothing when the old medic had announced that he was willing to try and bring the slumbering fire truck back to the land of the living. Apparently the damaged areas had healed enough for the doctor to feel it safe to try and bring him back round. Kade had never felt more hope yet sick with dread, all mix together in a sickening electric ball inside his stomach. It welled up his throat enough for him to taste bile at the thought of what could or couldn’t happen.

 

“What if you can’t?” Cody asked, looking up at the large white mech as the medic readied his equipment.  
“If he doesn’t come back, then we may just have to wait a little longer.” Ratchet said simply. He cast a look down at the young blond boy. “But remember. This is only a first attempt. I have not given up on him yet, young one.”

 

“Neither have we.” Graham said from his post at a bank of screens, he and Boulder assisting the Cybertronian doctor by watching the readouts. “All the life support backup and fail safes are running at optimum. Everything is ready to go Ratchet.” The engineer said, confidence clear in his voice. He younger brother had been geared up, positive that today was going to be the day that Heatwave woke up. Kade only wished he could be as optimistic. 

 

The fireman sat quietly in a chair by the wall, out of Ratchet, Graham and Boulders way along with everyone else. The last thing they needed to happen was someone getting accidently, causing some harm or getting crush under foot if, heaven forbid, something went catastrophically wrong. The fireman just tried not to think of that. His tattered, frayed nerves and aching heart could only deal with so much stress. The red head just listened to everyone around him talking, he didn’t trust his voice to try and involve himself with any conversation. He just wanted this done and over, the suspense was eating away at the last remnants of his sanity.

 

“I’m almost ready to proceed with the forced reboot.” Ratchet announced after consulting with Graham. “As I said, there is data missing, of that much I am certain. But I still can’t tell what. If he regains consciousness, Heatwave most likely will not even realise that there is data missing until something happened to point it out. If we are very lucky it will be something innocuous and unnecessary. I will have to run diagnostic while he’s active to more accurately pinpoint the gap.” The white mech informed them all. “Everyone please remember… this may not work. But do not lose hope.”

 

Easy for you to say, Kade thought bitterly as Ratchet and the two engineers took up their possessions. Everyone else fell silent. All ready for any outcome that might happen. Kade looked up at his farther who stood by his side. The older man gave him a reassuring look that’s seemed to say. ‘don’t worry son, no matter what happens, we’ll get through this.’

 

“Initiating primary reboot sequence now.” The medic said taping away at the screen. The atmosphere was tense. Seconds seemed to tick by agonizingly slowly before Boulder spoke up.  
“we are receiving preliminary diagnostic data… all is looking good.” The green mech said with a smile.  
“Heatwaves vitals are elevated but all still well within the norm.” Graham chimed in.  
“That is expected,” Ratchet nodded, and continued to type on his terminal. “Just his body responding the start up. Let me know if it starts to suddenly climb or drop, or if anything unusual starts happening”  
“Yes sir.” The engineer acknowledged, never taking his eye’s off the screens.

 

The next few minuets consisted of the three calling back and forth between each other, reeling off a never ending techno-babble and complex strings of numbers that made Kade’s head want to explode. He didn’t know or understand what anything they said, not knowing if it was good or bad, slowly driving him batty. 

 

“Alright… I think it’s safe to start the secondary reboot sequence.” The older bot said after a while.  
“Yes sir.” Both engineers called out, ready to follow the doctors lead. This made Kade sit up. That had to be a good thing right? Ratchet wouldn’t go further if it wasn’t safe or didn’t look promising right? Kade dared not get his hopes up, it’d be just his luck that something went wrong right at the last hurdle. Sod’s law seemed to affect him more than ever recently.

 

Another bout of his brother and the bots talking to each other in techno-speak. There was a brief moment when boulder reported something anomalous on his reading. Enough to make Ratchet come over and take a look at his screens, the doctor silver face frowning as he studied the fast scrawling code. After a few very tense moments, the medic gave a curious hum, but said that he didn’t think it would pose any significant problem, not enough to stop them from continuing. Kade thanked god, letting out the breath he’d been holding with a long huff. It was a good thing ratchet had quickly given the all clear… the young man was sure he wouldn’t of had any fingernails left if he’d let it drag on any longer. 

 

“This is it.” Ratchet called out for everyone to hear. “Activating final Reboot protocols.” Everyone was on edge. Chief was at his oldest son’s side, his presents a solid comfort but his expression one of guarded hopefulness. Chase, though standing stoic, his EM field was turbulent, Kade could feel it form where he sat. Blades sat on the floor, his face and field broadcasting clearly his apprehension. Cody peeking out hopefully form in his lap while his partner was perched on his leg, Dani scooted closer to Blades, seeing comfort as he worried her lip between her teeth. The copter bot resting a gentle servo on her back in response, digits stroking gently. Kade had to look away, a momentary pang of jealousy striking through him at the sight.

 

He looked back to where his own partner lay, still silent and still as his brother and the two other mechs worked to wake him. Kade thought his heart was going to pulverise itself against his still healing ribs. The tension and the wait ramping up with each passing moment…

 

One moment…

 

Another….

 

Another…

 

And another…

 

And another…

 

The fire bot suddenly took a large gasping intake of air, startling everyone in the room. His optic firing up, flickering before coming online, bright and blazing once again. His arms shooting out to grab the sides of the berth. It was a few seconds of the mech just staring up at the ceiling and gulping down intakes before ratchet was at his side. 

 

“Heatwave. Can you hear me?” He asked, voice clear and commanding. “Can you see me? Do you understand me?” The fire bot blinked up at the red and white mech above him. The atmosphere in the room so thick you could cut it with a bowling ball.  
“Y-yeah.. I hear ya Ratchet.” Heatwave got out, though his voice was horse and laced with static. Kade thought it was the sweetest sound he’d ever herd. 

 

While everyone else whooped and cheered with joy. The red head was fighting really hard not burst into relieved and happy tears, run over and kiss his lover shamelessly in front of his whole family. He was beyond happy to hear the mechs deep gruff voice. A Sound he was almost convinced he’d never have the privilege to hear ever again. The firefighter felt a hand on his shoulder, looking up to see his dad smiling happily at him. Kade smiled, the first real heat felt happy smiled he’d had since the accident. 

 

“Look here.” Ratchet instructed and shone a light into the mechs optics. Heatwave scrunched up his face in annoyance.  
“What the frag happened?” The mech groaned, rubbing his helm. “I feel like a building fell on me…”   
“Apparently, one did.” Ratchet said dryly, though there was a slight smile on his lined, silver face. “You are very lucky, youngling.” He said, finishing his exam and switching off the light. “Can you sit up?” The doctor asked.  
“Yeah, I think so.” The red bot let the medic help him into a seated position on the berth. The Rescue bot leader, rubbed his neck and looked round to see all the gathered people in the room. All grinning widely and looking very happy.

 

“Hay, what are you guys all doin’ here?” The mech asked, clearly clueless about all the stress he’d caused .  
“We’re here for you silly!” Blades cried, coming over carrying both Cody and Dani. He put both the organics down on the berth before throwing his arms around the Fire truck. “I was so worried!” the copter bot wailed.  
“We all were.” Cody said, his smile so bright as he looked up fondly at the mech.  
“You gave us all a real scare there Heatwave.” Dani said, giving the bots leg a playful punch. “Don’t go doing it again okay! I can only handle Blades to a certain stress point!”

 

“Well… I don’t remember what happened,” The bot said, frowning and rubbing his head, “but I’m sorry I made you all worry.”  
“It’s okay Heatwave,” The chief said, looking as relied and happy as the others. “The main thing is that your back with us. Awake and alright. The whole family has missed you something fierce.”

 

Kade stood and made his way closer to the berth, each step purposeful having to be restrained. Even though all he desperately wanted was to scramble up there with his siblings and just lay on the mech for the rest of the day so he could hear his spark and feel the rumble of his voice as he spoke. He’d waited this long, he told himself, you can waited till everyone else has cleared out to have a proper reunion with the mech. But still, he couldn’t just stand there and say nothing to his partner.

 

He took a deep breath, steadying his nerves… Kade had so much and so many things he wanted to say to the mech. But there was only a few things that he could say in the presents of his family. So he settled for something he thought would be the most appropriate given the circumstances…

 

“Well it’s about time you woke up you lazy bastard!” Kade snapped harshly, but not without the underlying hit of affection, he couldn’t quite keep out. The fire truck looked down to where Kade was, The young man though his knees would buckle at seeing those beautiful optics once again look at him so intently. Yet he kept his cool and carried on with his rant. “You know how much crap I’ve had to deal with since you decided to play sleeping beauty?! Dude, you threw me through a god dame a window?! I hope you realise you’re gonna have to do some pretty MAJOR grovelling before I forgive you for that, buddy!”

 

The smile that had been on the mechs face suddenly dropped. Now Heatwave was looking at the red headed man very intently, a deep frown coming across his brow.

 

“What? Do I have something on my face?” Kade scowled, wiping a hand over the lower part of his jaw, he didn’t think he was that messy when he ate lunch. Then suddenly realizing it was the first time Heatwave had seen him, likely the beard and the healing scrapped up mess that was his face had shocked him. Kade had gotten so used to it by now he hadn’t thought about how he may look to his partner. There was something in the mechs gaze that unsettled the human, he some niggling fears started to raise in his head. Was heatwave repulsed by how he looked now?“ Dude! Quit staring! What is it?!” Kade snapped, anger his automatic response whenever he was stressed or afraid. Hoping it was just the mech trying to figure out where or not he liked the massive ginger beard currently living on his face.

 

The mech tilted his helm and looked at him hard.

 

“Who are you?” Heatwave asked. “Do… do we know you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mwahahahaha.... :grins evilly and sips tea:


	10. Devastation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heat wave has forgotten something very important....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait, been a bit busy.
> 
> thank you for all the lovely comments, they keep me going!
> 
>  
> 
> enjoy!

Kade’s world came to a screeching halt and smashed into a brick wall around him… he felt light headed and sick.

 

“Don’t do that,” He said firmly, shaking his head, not wanting to entertain the bot if this was his sorry attempt at being funny. “I’m really-really- not in the mood for games, Wave. You know who I am.”  
“No… I don’t…” The bot said just as firmly and just a seriously. The fire truck looked around at everyone else, confusion clear on his face. “You guys wanna clue me in here? How does he know about us?”  
“Stop it! This is not fucking funny Heatwave!” Kade cried, stress rising . “I’ve been going out of my gord with worry for you, you asshole! So stop screwin’ around!”

 

“Heatwave… that’s Kade Burns,” Ratchet cut in drawing the fire trucks attention, “He’s Chief Burns’s oldest child and your human partner.”  
“What?! I’ve never had a partner!” The mech exclaimed with wide optics. “Boulder, Blades and Chase have but… I didn’t get one.”  
“Yes you did.” Ratchet stated calmly. “Kade has been your partner since you and your team arrived at Griffon Rock.”  
“But… No! No he’s not! I’ve never had a Human partner!” Heatwave said, starting to get angry. “What kinda game are you guys playing?! Is this another Morocco scheme?!” The mech said, starting to look uneasy. His words unknowingly cutting the poor young man’s heart into ribbons. They left the fireman clawing at his emotional control and for every breath he forced into his lungs.

 

“Alright Heatwave, now I’ve read the reports you have all been sending back to Omega Base. Tell me. What happened on one of your first missions, when the Volcano on the island started to flood the sewers with lava?” The medic asked. “Tell me exactly what everyone on the team was doing to combat the danger.”

 

“Chief and Chase were clearing people from the camp ground, Dani and Blades got a water tower to cool the lava. And Boulder and Graham were mapped the underground tunnels.”  
“And what were you doing?” The old bot asked.  
“I went down into the tunnels, the lava was heading straight for the firehouse. Cody was in the bunker and wasn’t answering the comm.” The fire truck answered.  
“And who else was there?” The doctor pushed.

 

“No one! I was by myself!” Heatwave cried in aggravation, throwing his hands up.  
“What about the time you Kade and Dani had to find all the poisonous snakes around town?” Cody tried to help. “Or the time you and Kade went to the mainland to see Optimus?”  
“I remember that but… Dani and I were alone and… I went to see Prime on my own…” Heatwave looked intently at the red head but it was clear that he did not recognize him. “I don’t remember him being there at all. Seriously guy’s… what the frag is going on?!”

 

Kade thought he was going to collapse. His head was feel light and his chest hurt. The confused blank looks the mech was shooting at him were awful. There was absolutely no recognition in his optics. None of the warmth or underlying love and affection the young man had gotten so used to seeing in his gigantic lovers eye’s. It was like looking into the face of a stranger. Ratchet clicked a diagnosis cable into the back of Heatwaves helm, took out a light and shone it in Heatwaves Optics again. The air tense in the room as he asked.

 

“Describe what it’s like when you think about Kade.” Ratchet asked, as he looked to study the readouts on his arm.  
“I can’t!” The red mech was now sounding just as stressed as everyone else. “I don’t know what it is I’m supposed to remember! I don’t remember him being on missions because he wasn’t there! I don’t even remember ever seeing him before just now!” 

 

Kade had to hide his face in his hand, trying to control his breathing and teetering on the edge of a full blown panic attack, he didn’t want to break in front of everyone. Every word that came out of his partner’s mouth was like a blade across his skin. His unfeeling tone was like acid to his ears, burning him from the inside out. After a few more moments, Ratchet disconnected the cable and closed the panel, suddenly looking very tired and troubled.

 

“Ratchet, what’s going on? Why can’t Heatwave remember Kade?” Chief Burns asked. Ratchet sighed heavily, running a servo over his face.  
“I was afraid something like this would happen. I’m sorry, but this can only be the result of a pinpoint cascade purge.” Ratchet shook his head, regretfully. “I’ve seen it happen a few other times, a particular subject being completely erased from a memory core. In Heatwaves case, it seems that anything related specifically to Kade was erased.”  
“How the hell could everything about me just disappear and everything else still be there?!” Kade demanded angrily. “How can he remember all’a you, our missions, but not me?!”

 

“As you know, Heatwave was very badly damaged in the collapse and just like your organic brains, ours are also susceptible to degradation and illness. Unfortunately, how or why this specific type of ailment happens is still not known to us. All we know is that happens after sever trauma, the subject is always random and afterwards all information is gone and the brain module just fills in the blanks and rewrites to compensate, leaving the patient unaware that they are missing anything. That things have always been that way.”

 

“So… it kinda like, someone uninstalling a program on a computer?” Graham asked, trying to wrap his head around it. “Even if the programme it has been using is gone, the computer will still function without it.”  
“Crude analogy but… essentially yes. I treated a femm that had her entire language centre erased, she couldn’t communicate by any form of written or spoken language, we resorted to communicating through EM fields and _____. There was another mech who lost all his data regarding star ships. It was particularly devastating for him since he was as star ship designer…” the room was quiet for a long moment before someone spoke.

 

“But… you can fix that right?” Cody asked hopefully. The old doctor let out a long puff of air and shook his helm.  
“No I cannot.” The medic said gently. “A Cascade purge is a through thing. There is likely not enough information to even try and reconstruct any memories. Even if there were, I would not even think to attempt it.”  
“Why not!?” Kade yelled, finding his voice again as he glared up at the white medic. “You can’t just-leave him like this!”  
“Without sounding too big headed, I am an excellent doctor, with over 7 millennia of experience and knowledge. But I am not a specialist when it comes to memory reconstruction. An intricate and delicate job like this requires the talents of a skilled mnemosurgeon. I would likely end up doing more damage if I attempted it by myself.”

 

“Wait! What about the back-ups?” Blades cried, “We back our memory cores up!” A ray of hope sprang in everyone.  
“That will not work.” Chase said, shooting down the idea almost instantly. Disheartening everyone in seconds. “The last time we backed up our memory cores was just after we landed on earth. The back-up will not have anything with Kade on it as we updated them before we left for Griffon rock.” Everyone was quiet. The gathered were so happy Heatwave was functioning and awake, fighting fit but he’d lost something so intricate to his life with them. It was almost like a part of him had died in that fire.

 

“Is there nothing you can do for him?” Dani asked, looking up at the old bot. Ratchet seemed to think for a long moments before speaking.  
“We can attempt to work with him, perhaps with some therapy and coxing we may recover some of the lost data, but that is if we are remarkably lucky.” Ratchet turned to the bewildered looking fire truck. “But you must understand that we may be in vain. Are you willing to try Heatwave?”

 

“Sure, I guess. I mean… if you’re all sure this isn’t a prank and I am missing memories, I do kinda want them back.” The red mech said, rubbing his neck cables. It was then he looked back over to Kade, an apologetic look on his handsome face. “Hay, look I’m sorry I can’t remember you, ugh… What was your name again?” The mech asked sheepishly. The firemen thought someone was repeatedly stabbing him in the gut. The young man took a deep breath before he spoke to his partner.

 

“It’s Kade. My name’s Kade, And… Hay, It’s okay,” Kade force a smile as he looked up at the mech he so dearly loved but who was unknowingly trampling all over his heart with every word and vacant look. “You’ve been through a lot. But Ratch’ll sort this out. Everything’s going to be fine. I’m just… I’m just really glad you’re awake now buddy. But if it’s okay with everyone, I’m uh… I’m going to go upstairs and get some painkillers… my arms starting to kill me.”

 

Kade didn’t even wait for anyone to say anything, unable to look at his partner any longer, he made his excuse, turned and hightailed it out of the room to the elevator. His feet moved of their own accord and carried him quickly away from the medbay. The red head managed to make it back to his room and shut the door before finely braking. His back hit the closed door and he let out an anguished sob, utterly hart broken. He slid down the wooded door, sitting on the floor in the dark, not even having switched the light on. He pulled his legs in and buried his face in his knees, arms wrapping round his legs to try and give him even the smallest comfort. It did little as his body was wracked with pain from the position and the emotional turmoil he was suffering.

 

Heatwave didn’t remember him… Didn’t know him. That look of inference was devastating. What were they going to do if Ratchet couldn’t retrieve his memories? It sounded like there was little to no chance of that happening from what the white mech said. Where did that leave them and their relationship? How were they supposed to go on?! It’d be like starting over again, except that the fireman would have to deal with the memory of everything they had lost. Kade felt sick and numb all at once, his head spinning with questions and fears and absolutely no answers or hope. 

 

There was a knock at his door… he ignored it, he didn’t trust his voice to yell out for whoever it was to go away. He hoped that if he stayed silent, they’d get the message and leave him alone.

 

“Kade? Son, it’s me. Open up.” Came the warm voice of his farther. “I’m alone. Let me in son.” Reluctantly, Kade willed himself to move, fighting against his aching protesting injured body and the dark emotional pit he was in. There was a brief few moments when the red head thought about just ignoring his dad, thinking about slinking over to the bed to hid under the covers till he died. But he realised that his dad was the only one that he could confide in. The red head pulled open the door a crack and moved away, the invitation for his farther to enter.

 

“Kade? Are you alright?” The grey haired man said as he stepped in, closing the door behind him and flicking on the light switch. The older man was greeted by the most distressing sight of his son, looking utterly devastated and on the brink of tears.  
“No Dad… I pretty fuckin’ far from all right…” Kade croaked, managing to shock his farther at the use of language. “He doesn’t remember me Dad! He- he doesn’t know who the hell I am! He looked at me like I was no one!”  
“Ratchet is working on it Son.” The chief tried to reassure him, but his words were no comfort to the fireman.

 

“And from what Ratchet said, that’s pretty much hopeless!” Kade cried, clutching at his chest. “You herd him! He can’t get back what’s not there! My Heatwave is gone Dad, and he’s never coming back!   
“Kade, he’s not gone. He’s still here.” The policeman tried.  
“He might be alive… but the bot that was my partner doesn’t exist anymore! The mech I loved with all my heart is dead! He died in that fucking fire! He saved my life and now he’s gone! He’s gone... and he’s n-never coming back…” Kade broke, letting out the most gut wrenching heartbroken sob the older man had ever herd. 

 

Chief Burns was at his side in an instant, pulling him into a tight hug, wrapping his strong arms protectively around his boy. His oldest son grabbed onto his shirt and wept unabashedly into his shoulder, his poor battered body shaking with grief riddled sobs. The grey haired was on the brink of tears himself, seeing his son in this much distress was physically painful for him. The last time he’d seen Kade in such a state was when his mother had died…

 

“I’m sorry son.” He said quietly, knowing there was absolutely nothing he could say that would heal or sooth the young man. He was powerless, unable to help or fix what had happened. There was nothing anyone could do. Fate had dealt Kade and heatwave a shit hand and now they were having to deal with the aftermath. As much as it was killing the chief, he could only imagine what his boy must be going through. All he could do was offer what little physical comfort he could for his child, Hope and pray that both Kade and Heatwave could have the chance to repair the damage that had been done to them. “I’m so, so sorry…”


	11. Time Doesn't Heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3 months on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hay everyone!
> 
>  
> 
> sorry for the long wait, more coming soon...
> 
>  
> 
> i've had so many lovely comments about this story! i want you to know i appreciate every one.
> 
>  
> 
> i'm just sorry i don't have time to answer!
> 
>  
> 
> i'm so pleased you guys like it!

3 months later…

 

“Good job Heatwave.” Kade smiled up at the mech as he transformed back into his vehicle mode after completing the last job on their shift. “You were great today.” The bot pooped open his door and the young man climbed into the cab. “Heh, thanks, partner. You were pretty great you’re self ” The mechs face grinned form the screen. It was painful for Kade to see the mech smile so good naturedly at him, but he forced another small smile and patted the steering wheel.

 

The attempt and retrieving Heatwaves memories had failed. There was nothing more Ratchet could do for the fire truck. It had been a devastating blow for the whole team, but even more so for Kade. Having to come to terms that the Heatwave he had known was truly gone. He was just grateful his farther had been so understanding and supportive. Keeping the rest of the family at bay and giving him the space and time he needed to heal properly; to process all the repercussions before coming back to the team.

 

The next few weeks were awkward and painful for the young man. As far as the mech was concerned, the fireman had never been a part of his life on Griffon rock. Had never existed till that moment he’d seen him in the medbay. It was hard to see Heatwave interact with his family and the others as he always had, hearing his laughter as he joked with the other bots or whine when Chase suggested they needed to do more paperwork. It was heart breaking to talk to him and have him be so reserved and… guarded. There was no more playful bickering or sly teasing comments that the man had grown so fond of.

 

Kade had to always remember that they no longer had the history or the experiences they had once sheared to bind them. Yes, Heatwave now understood and excepted that he had indeed lost his memories, trusting in his team and Ratchets reassurances that this want some sort of trick, and having been shown many home movies of them all together; but that didn’t mean they could just pick up where they left off. He was affectively a stranger to the mech. Which meant they had to start from scratch and build a brand new relationship. 

 

It was hard and painful for Kade to do so, yet he still loved the bot with every fibre of his being and regardless of the heartache, he still wanted the mech in his life. So the fireman made every effort to try, no matter how much it stung. Over the weeks the two of them talked about a lot of things, mostly about their previous missions, Kade filling the mech in on what he had done during all of the times they had been on duty. Talking about their partnership and how well they had worked together.

 

The red head also made a decision to start this relationship off on a far better foot then the first one. He’d be the first to admit that he had been an utter douche when the bots had first arrived. Not giving them, especially Heatwave, the time of day or made an effort to get to know them, hell he’d not even wanted to see them as actual people to start with. He couldn’t be that cold to the mech again even if he tried. He cared far too much to do that.

 

So, to the rest of the family’s dismay, Kade was now nothing but kind and friendly towards his partner. Making the effort to spend time with him. Just watching movies, talking about sports, asking about the mechs planet and past before coming to earth. His siblings had made a few comments about his apparent shift in personality, but didn’t give him too much of a hard time. After all, they had been through a lot. Kade himself was still healing and just as damaged by the incident as his robotic partner.

 

Last month, Kade had been given the all clear to go back to work. He was physically all healed but still had to attend physio every week for check ups, he was still having a little problem with his shoulder. Considering the damage done when he hit the road no one was really surprised. His face was almost completely back to normal, save for a few little vertical scars he now had on his cheek and temple, Kade thanked his lucky stars it hadn’t been worse. He’s also kept the beard as he’d seen no point in saving it as it was so ‘in’ at the moment; the truth was that and he just really couldn’t be bothered to shave it.

 

Things felt a little more normal once the pair of them were back in the field. The two of them easily working together, almost like nothing had ever happened. Even without Heatwaves memories, they were a great team who worked safely and efficiently and got the job done. Luckily the residents of the island seemed to have been taking it easy on them, the most they’d had to deal with was getting Mr. Pettiepaws out of his tree, a few exploded lawn mowers and todays bakery oven spewing flames into the street.

 

Kade was grateful for the easement back into the job, it made it just that bit more bearable to be in Heatwaves presents and not break into tears and spill his guts about how much he loved him. He’d purposely not told the bot about their outside work activities. With the mech being pretty much a stranger, Kade wasn’t sure how he would take finding out the pair of them were or had been secret lovers. For now Kade just wanted to build on the friendship they were forging. He soon realised that he had to face reality, that Heatwave may never feel that way about him ever again. It was all their previous misadventures that brought them together. There was no guarantee that with their new dynamic the mech would fall for him again. It was a bitter pill, but swallow it he had.

 

“Hay, I don’t wanna go back to the firehouse just yet. Do you… wanna go for a drive?” Heatwave asked, bringing the young man out of his thoughts. The previous connotations of those words stung the fireman greatly. Yet, he pushed the pain down and smiled, just thankful the mech still wanted to spend time together.  
“Sure. Anywhere in particular?” He asked  
“There is a place I like. We can go there.” The bot said cheerfully.  
“Cool, lets go.”

 

The two of them drove, the radio playing some grungy rock they both enjoyed. Every so often the two conversing on the music that played and their current sporting focus. Recently Kade had introduced Heatwave to Rugby, it was a game that both of them enjoyed immensely and right now the international championships were playing. The pair of them making bets on who would go through to the next rounds and who was going to win overall.

 

They were so lost in a particularly animated argument about one teams superiority over another’s that Kade didn’t realise where they were till it was too late… 

 

Heatwave had driven them to Blossom Vale.


	12. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all comes out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two uplodes in a a day... you lucky people...
> 
> remember... comments are my cookies...

“Why are we here?” Kade asked, trying to keep the shake out of his voice. Heatwave opened his door, Kades hands trembled slightly as he unbuckled himself and slipped out of the cab.  
“I… don’t know.” The mech said after he transformed, looking around, genuinely puzzled. “I just… really like this place for some reason. It’s pretty and I have really good feelings here.” 

 

Could it be due to all the times we fucked here? Kade thought bitterly. The place where we first kisses… Where they made love for the first time…

 

The bot left out a hefty sigh and sat down on the grassy hill overlooking the Vale. The fireman sat tentatively next to the mech, far enough so they weren’t touching, but close enough to feel his heat and EM field. The young man could feel the tingle of electrical charge on his skin, it had been something that brought him a lot of pleasure and comfort in the past. Now it just made his skin crawl in frustration, unrequited desire and longing for the way things once had been. This was pure torcher…

 

Kade sat there quietly dragged in one breath after another… Each felt like a battle, clawing the air into him then forcing it out. His hart was twisting and tearing itself up being so close to Heatwave in this place that had once been their safe haven. He was desperate for the mechs touch, and to touch him in return. But that was not what they were to each other anymore… they were colleagues… perhaps friends… Nothing more now…

 

“Kade… What was our relationship?” Heatwave spoke up suddenly, optics still looking off over the landscape. His gruff voice startling the young man out of his dark turmoil.  
“Hun? Whaddya mean?” He asked.  
“Our relationship before the accident? What was it like before I… forgot everything?” The mech looked down at him with curious optics, The fireman had to look away from their intensity. You didn’t forget everything, Kade thought with a wave of hot anger, you just forgot me.

 

“We’ve been though that haven’t we? Does it really matter now?” The human said, pulling at the grass, tearing up clumps just so he had something to focus on.  
“I clearly matters to you.” The mech said softly  
“why’d you say that?” Kade shot back sharply, not really wanting to talk about or even think about what they had lost. It was tempting fate to open up his floodgates, he was afraid if that happened…. They’d never close again. The red head herd the bot draw in a long intake and let it out slowly before he spoke again.

 

“Kade, buddy… I want you to know, I really like you,” The mech said gently. “I respect you a lot. From what people tell me and from what I’ve seen. You’re hard working, you’re dedicated and kind. “You’re fun to be around and you make me laugh. You’re a grate partner and I’m lucky to have you.”  
“Thanks Wave…” Kade couldn’t help the small smile or the way his heart warmed so much at hearing all the nice things the alien though about him. It was short lived as the bot continued.  
“It’s just,” Heatwave paused, clearly trying to find the right words. “I have this ‘feeling’… that there’s something you’re not telling me… that there’s… more between us…”

 

“What makes you think that?” Kade said stiffly, his heart starting to hammer in his chest. He really didn’t like where this conversation was clearly headed.  
“Because every time you look at me… I see you looking so hopeful and at the same time… so very sad.” The bot said, concern lacing his deep gentle voice. “At first I thought it was because we lost the friendship we had. That I can understand. But you still look at me like-like I’m dead and your morning me! You smile and laugh but there is this well of sadness in your eye’s I can’t fathom! I though you just needed time but- it’s been months! I can’t take it anymore! I know I’m missing something huge and It’s driving me crazy cuz it feels like I’ve screwed up and there’s no way I can fix it!” The bot looked at him imploringly. “Please Kade, we can’t carry on pretending there’s not something seriously wrong between us! Cut the slag and just tell me what the frags wrong! What am I missing?!”

 

Kade chewed on the inside of his cheek to stop himself form breaking out into all out weeping right there and then. The mech was right, no matter how much he tried to move on and pretend nothing was wrong, he couldn’t go on like this. It was eating him up inside. He’d not told the bot about their more intimate relationship for fear of scaring him off and risking the chance of even having a working friendship with the mech he loved so dearly. But Heatwave apparently could see that something wasn’t quite right between them. Perhaps now, with the mech asking to be told, was the time to finely spill the beans, let some of this crushing pressure off his chest…

 

Getting up from the ground before he could think better off it, Kade stood and looked up at his mech. His heart panging with a cacophony of emotions at the distressed and desperate for understanding look on the mechs face. His resolve strengthen… regardless of what happened next, this needed to happen.They needed to get this in the air and deal with it otherwise neither of them would truly heal properly.

 

“Pick me up.” Kade said gently. The mech did as he was asked and lowered his hand, Kade nimbly jumped up onto it, like he had done a thousand times before. Heatwave brought him up so they were eye to eye. He looked into the humans face, the young man’s eyes were glassy and so full of sorrow. His breathing was erratic, clearly upset, holding back tears. It was so upsetting to see the human he’d only known to be so strong and resilient in such a way, it made his spark ache in a way that was far too painful for his understanding.

 

“Kade, what’s wrong?” Heatwave asked, voice full of concern. It took a moment for the red head to compose himself and reply.  
“What’s wrong is that you don’t remember me… you don’t remember ‘us’…”  
“Us? What do yo-” Kade couldn’t take it any longer and lunged forward. Pressing his lips firmly against the mechs, his gloved hands resting gently on the bots face. The young man letting out a soft sob as tears welled and slid down his cheek. The alien robot stilled in shock, feeling soft warm organic flesh against his sensitive metal, the tickle of leather gloves, a bristly beard hair against his faceplate.

 

It sparked something, not a memory, but a resounding deep feeling of recognition. Flaring bright and hot within him. Like this felt… right… natural. As quickly as it started, Kade pulled back but kept his hands against the bots face. The humans face downcast, the long red hair that framed his face hiding his eye’s as he spoke.

 

“That’s what we had.” Kade said quietly, letting more tears fall as the dame broke within him. “We were more than partners… More than friends… we were…”  
“Lovers.” The mech breathed, everything suddenly snapping into place. Finely understanding all the strange feelings that had been swimming in his spark when he was around the human. All that tension that roped unseen between them. Heatwaves brain may not remember the man, but his spark apparently did. The human let out a harsh bark of bitter laughter.  
“We were. You told me you loved me only a week before the fire.” Kade voice was breaking as his emotions rose. “You… we… oh god, I finely felt I was ready… I gave myself to you completely… It was the biggest thing I’d ever done. I’ve never trusted or loved anyone as much as you Wave… And- we made love, freaking inside you…”

Heatwave was stunned, only able to sit and listen as the handsome young man talked, listen as he told him things he couldn’t remember but instinctually knew be true…

“It was wonderful… I’d never felt like that before… you made me feel alive and-and… then you held me and told me you loved me… and I told you I felt the same… That I’d fallen for you… everything was so perfect and… and now…”  
“Kade… I…” the mech had no words, he could only watch, his spark aching at seeing the human shake and crumble in his hand.

 

“Now you just- look at me like I’m a god dame stranger! After everything we’ve done and been through! I’ve just been wiped from your memory… like I never mattered! You think you’re having a hard time… How the fuck do you think I feel?! To have something so wonderful, ripped away from me. I finely found something… someone… who loved me as I was… who made me feel real honest love and-and now that’s gone! It’s just so fucking cruel! It would have been easier if you’d just died!” Kade yelled harshly. Gloved hand turning into a fist, thump against the mechs face in utter defeat. “Th-then I wouldn’t have to see you and be reminded every fucking day of what I lost every moment I look at you! You don’t know how hard it is being around you! I prayed for you to be alright! I god dammed prayed to have you back! But this must be god playing some sick spiteful joke! Giving you back to me only to take the most precious part of you away… the part that loved me…”

 

Heatwave sat there, struck dumb from everything the human had said. Though he had no memory of anything he said. He knew every word of it was all true. Kade would not lie about this. From getting to know him over the last months, Heatwave knew that much about the young man he held. But more than that, his very spark told him it was all true, but it now ached in grief at the knowledge. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t recall any of the memories or the deeper feeling that the red head spoke of. 

 

“I-I’m so sorry…” Heatwave tried to find the words to comfort the young organic.   
“Yeah… you’re sorry… Doesn’t change anything… You still don’t know me anymore… You don’t love me. You’re not my Heatwave anymore, so… just put me down…” the human sniffed wiping his nose with the back of his gloved hand, stepping back,, still not looking at the mech.   
“Kade…”  
“Just put me down!” the young man snapped, hurt and sorrow so clear in his voice. “Please!” 

 

Not wanting to hurt the human any more than he already had, the rescue bot lowered his servo and let him dismount. Kade again sniffed loudly, wiping his eye’s on his glove before turning. Without a word he walk towards one of the many nature paths in the vale, a path that was far too dense for Heatwave to follow.

 

“Wait! Kade! Where ‘re you going?!” The bot cried out in panic, getting to his peds. Not wanting to let his partner leave in such an awful state, especially when it was one of his doing. The red haired young man stopped just shy of the lush tee line. He called back over his shoulder, still not meeting the bots optics.  
“I’m gonna walk home… I wanna be alone. I just… can’t be around you… Not right now… It hurts too much…”

 

The devastated mech could only watch as the human disappeared into the undergrowth. Leaving Heatwaves mind and spark spinning and racing within a fire storm of emotion.


	13. Lamprocapnos spectabilis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes... help comes form unexpected places....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my... not many chapters to go now... i'm thinking this particular part of the series will end at chapter.... (dose some thinking)... 18? i think...
> 
> but don't fear... i do have another segment to the series planned and half written....
> 
> also... there will some Pornz coming at some point... just a heads up....
> 
> as always, let me know you guys still like this,   
>  i live for comments and kudos... they are my fuel.

Hayley was enjoying the late evening setting sun and warm night drawing as she wandered aimlessly around the park. No real purpose other than to get some fresh air and enjoy the greenery of the town park. The most she was thinking was perhaps petitioning the government office to plant some new flower beds. Something a little more architectural, like the striking purple star burst of Allium Christophii, maybe something form the Intricate Passifloraceae family… or perhaps some Lupinus. She loved Lupinus, especially after the rain. The way the slender pronged leaves caught and cradled water in perfect droplets at their centre felt a little magical to her.

 

The park was pretty much deserted at this time, only seeing another person every so often. Most residents of the island either had gone home for evening routines of after school clubs, dinner, TV, bed and alike. It was kinda nice having the place to herself. She knelt down to study a particularly lovely looking Orchis Simia. 

 

Hayley started and stopped in her musing when she heard a soft mournful sob. Puzzled and a little concerned, her teacher instincts took over, hoping it wasn’t a poor lost child. She looked around but couldn’t see anyone in the immediate vicinity. She knew there was a bench not far, concealed with high bushes to make a secluded little alcove away from the main path that overlooked a pond. Perhaps someone was there?

 

She quickly made her way the short distance to the alcove, and quietly crept round the shrubbery as another slightly louder choked noise floated through the air. It didn’t sound like a child now she was closer. It sounded like someone older… a man? She moved on softly, she didn’t want to startle whoever it was. Perhaps it was someone just having a really bad day and wanting some time alone to let out some stress and frustration (Med being the emotionally stunted creatures that they were, wanted to do it in solitude). They then might not appreciate an intruder seeing them at a moment of weakness. But even so, Hayley was sure she couldn’t just leave whoever it was to suffer without at last offering a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. 

 

Men were a lot like children at times, sometimes a little understanding, a kind smile and a hug was all they needed… Kade had certainly been like that. The big man baby that he was acted more like a pre-pubescent child then a lot of her students. She sighed gently and pushed the thought of her former lover out of her head. She didn’t want the headache or the sting of thinking about him right now as another heart-breaking whimper broke the quiet. Someone was in dire need of a friend… 

 

When she peeked round the bush, she thought she’d been prepared to see anyone. But Hayley’s eye’s widened in shock and she simply stared at the sight of her ex-boyfriend sitting on a bench. His head in his gloved hands and his shoulders shaking with stifled sobs. For a moment, she couldn’t quite process what she was seeing before her… she’d never seen the fireman cry. Well, she had, but she had been sworn to secrecy after they’d watched a surprisingly emotional movie about the tragic life of Beethoven. But this was different… those tears had been gentle out pouring of empathy… what she was seeing here… This was gut-wrenching, unhappy weeping of someone who had lost hope.

 

“Kade?” Hayley called out gently to him as she stepped out form around the corner. She actually gasped at the sight when he looked up sharply in surprise. The handsome young man was a complete state. His pail skin now a brilliant red, his cheeks wet and tear streaked and nose running. His blue eye’s glassy, pink and puffy. He looked like he’d been crying for hours. Kade looked utterly miserable.

 

“Oh my god, Kade! What’s happened?!” She cried coming over to his side, sitting on the bench next to him. Her mind suddenly racing with all the potential reasons that could cause the tough firefighter to be reduced to a blubbering wreck in the middle of a public park. Had something happened to one of his sibling? Oh dear lord nothing had happened to the Chief, had it?!  
“I-i’m… I’m okay…” He croaked out, voice ragged and horse as he vigorously wiped his eye’s. Futilely trying to cover up the evidence that he’d been bawling his eye’s out. “Everything’s f-fine, Hay-ley.”   
“You seriously gonna try and pull that crap on me?” She scowled. Yes… men were like children. “Kade has something happened? Is your Dad okay? Your brother’s? Dani?” She asked urgently.

 

“Wha-?” His brow knitted in confusion, red eye’s blinking. “No-yes… I mean, everyone’s fine.” The blonde woman let out her held breath in relief. Thank god. She couldn’t imagen how the town would react, or heaven forbid cope if anything happened to the family of hero’s. But then if his family were all okay… what the hell had happened?  
“That’s good, but then... Why are you here? What’s going on?” She asked again.  
“Nu-nothing…” He said quietly, looking away from his former girlfriend and back down at the gravelled earth. Wiping his nose unceremoniously on the back of his glove, making the already red raw skin look even more angry.   
“Kade. Do you really expect me to believe that?” She said flatly. Not looking impressed by his attempt to play off his little emotional outburst as just ‘nothing’.

 

“Look… Hayley… you don’t need to worry… I’m alright… Nothing’s happened… it’s nothing you can help with,” He said but his voice was tight and wavy. His eye’s closing tightly trying hard to regain control his apparent rampant emotions. His lip quivering as a few more defiant tears leaked from his eye’s and dropped to the ground. “I’m… just not in a good place right now… I-Ijust wanna be alone… Sorry I bothered you, Hayley… you can go.” 

 

The young botanist sat in stunned silence, studying the man beside her. This was not the Kade Burns she knew and cared for (Even after all he’d done, Yes she still had a soft spot for the man). And while he did have a bit of a temper and could get a bit aggressive and shouty, she’d never ever seen such a raw display like this from him. This was a side of him that had her worrying. Despite his words, clearly something serious had happened and it was having a devastating effect on the red head. Regardless of what had happened between them… There was no way she could just leave him here to wallow in his own privet hell. Hayley couldn’t live with herself and that wasn’t the type of person she was.

 

Kade sniffed loudly, again wiping away persistent snot from his sore nose, wincing a little as it stung. The young woman stood, The firefighter clearly had expected her to leave and he looked up in surprised confusion when a delicate hand appeared before his face. 

 

“Come on.” She said gently with a soft reassuring smile. “It looks to me like you really shouldn’t be on your own right now. It looks a lot like you could really, really use a friend.” For a few moments Kade looked between the woman’s face and her hand. For a second or two, Hayley thought the rescue worker was going to be stubborn and refuse her offer. She became even more concerned for his wellbeing when the normally bull headed, red head’s eye’s watered with a mix of gratitude and complete defeat, nodded and gently took her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> google the chapter title... you'll like it...


	14. Tea and Sympathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley and Kade sit down and have a bit of a heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoo... sorry for the delay. i've been busy and working on another story i wanted to finish. (a slashy Trigun story if any of you are interested)
> 
> hope you guys enjoy, next chapter should, if all goes according to my cunning plans, be up sometime afternoon.
> 
> thanks for all the Kudos and the comments!
> 
> they all make me smile and keep me going
> 
> always love hearing form you.
> 
> much love! X

Hayley knew the two of them were not going to last for a while. They had been drifting apart for a sometime. Yes, Kade had turned out not to be as obnoxious as she though (Though he did have his moments) he was actually very sweet. Brave, handsome and genuinely did have a heart of gold. Plus he was rather good in the bedroom department, Kade always got full marks for his performances. But, fundamentally, hey were just too different to be truly compatible. They had a great time together sure, a lot of affection and laughter, but, they just didn’t really gel enough to potentially form a lasting long term relationship. At least, not in Hayley’s opinion.

 

Even so, the spectacular break up argument didn’t make it any less painful though… She still cared a lot for the dumb lug and there was no need for him to be so nasty about it all. He could of handled that so much better, the botanist thought a little sourly. Hayley had, for a while now at least, a sneaking suspicion that there was someone else in the picture for her former boyfriend. Yet she never saw him with anyone, no dodgy hushed calls or convoluted excuses. Not even any gossip from the town grapevine about him hanging out with anyone. The only women Kade came into contact regularly was his sister and Mrs Nederlander… and the blonde really didn’t think that the old lady was Kades type.

 

The pretty botanist sighed as the kettle boiled drawing her away from her thoughts. She’d brought the Red haired man back to her place. She’d plonked him down on the sofa and had fetched him a box of lotion infused tissues for his poor sore nose and a cool damp towel for his face. Hayley smiled kindly and told him to just relax and she’d go make them a hot drink. The blonde poured the hot water onto the teabag, giving it a few moments to brew. She smiled to herself, It had been a surprising but adorable little thing, finding out that Kade didn’t like Coffee. He’d always seemed to be the kind of person that would chug gallons of the stuff. Instead he liked tea with milk and sugar, a habit he’d picked up from his farther. She’d always found this little preference of his to be ever so endearing.

 

Once she’d added the respective ingredients and the cream to her own coffee, she took them back into the living room and handed him the mug. Kade gave her the saddest little smiled, a tiny thank you for her as he took it. He looked a little better than when she’d left. The fireman had cleaned himself up a little, no longer was there snot stuck in his upper lip hair of his new beard. She had to admit to herself, it was rather magnificent, and shockingly suited him.

 

The crusty salty trail of dried tears that had been on his cheeks were also gone. His eyes and nose both still looked unpleasantly sore and red, the burly fireman looking uncharacteristically small and vulnerable on her sofa, huddled round the steaming mug in his hands and looking into it steamy beige depths with an utterly lost and broken expression. 

 

Her heart went out to him the teacher hated seeing anyone in dire pain. Hayley had seen enough melodramas in her life to guess what had probably happened. If it wasn’t a death in the family, there was only one thing that she could guess that would make a man like Kade Burns breakdown in such a way. Even if she hadn’t seen or herd of him hooking up with anyone, this had to be a romantic mishap, a pretty serious one at that. The problem was that she knew what the red head was like, and if she was going to get anything out of him, Hayley was going to have to treat Kade like he was one of her kindergarteners. Be blunt, but gentle and with the patience of a saint.

 

“So… mind telling me what this is about?” She asked, pulling her legs up onto the sofa. “Who’s got under your skin so bad?” Kade’s head shot up and looked at her with a startled, panicked ‘how do you know!’ look. She just gave him a knowing smile and sipped her coffee. “It’s written all over you Kade. You must have had it pretty bad to get this worked up. I never saw anything like this from you. So, what’s her name?” The blonde looked at him with gentle expectation. The fireman looked away, red returning to his cheeks, drawing into himself once again. He suddenly seemed so terrified and ashamed. Like she was going to tear him apart if he said anything.

 

“Kade, I’m not mad. Believe it or not, regardless of what happened between us, I don’t like seeing you like this. I wanna help and I still wanna be a friend to you. So come on… what’s her name?” The teacher tried, but the young man seemed to be almost catatonic with fear, fresh tears welling up in his eyes and his breathing becoming a little shallower. There was a slight tremor in his frame and he looked ready to drop the mug and bolt for the door. The blonde frowned deeply, what could this person have done to turn the strong willed, cocky man beside her into a complete nervous wreck?

 

“Hay it’s okay, you don’t need to tell me anything you don’t want to.” Hayley reassured him gently. “So how about this… we’re going to play twenty questions.” She said playfully, trying to lighten the mood. “You don’t have to say anything. Just nod or shake your head. How about that?” She asked him, she’d found this tactic worked well for her kids when they clamed up. There was a tense few moments before the red head slowly nodded, accepting her terms. Kade didn’t move, but the tension seemed to relax a little in the room. She smiled widely, encouraged that he was at least willing to sit and listen to her. The botanist hummed and made a show of thinking for a few moments before starting her questions.

 

“So, this is all about someone, isn’t it?” Hayley asked. After a few seconds Kade gave a brief nod.   
“Have you been seeing her long?” At that the fireman seemed to mull over his thoughts before shrugging awkwardly.  
“Did you meet her on the mainland?” Hayley asked. The man shook his head.  
“Is she a firefighter like you?” The briefest ghost of smile as he nodded.  
“Is she pretty?” The botanist blurted out, because, hay, she was human and she wanted to know what kind of person he’d ‘cheated’ on her with. “I bet she’s a total gym bunny and she’s-.”

 

“She’s not-!” Kade suddenly snapped loudly, cutting himself off before he said too much, agitation and frustration clear in his in his voice. His grip on the mug tight enough for his knuckles to turn white. Hayley was quiet as he seemed to have an internal battle. She wondered what was going on in his head before the fireman spoke again. Voice shaking and quiet, the words sounding like he was having to push every single syllable out by sheer force of will. “I mean she’s…. not- not a she…” 

 

“What do you mean?” The blonde woman frowned. “Not a she? If she’s not a she then-” Hayley stopped in her tracks, realisation finely sinking in looking at the utterly defeated look on the red heads face, he again turned away from her and shrunk back in on himself. The shocking news crashed into her like a freight train hitting a brick wall. It was a guy. Kade was seeing another guy. Romantically. Things falling somewhat into place for her and the ramifications of this sudden revelation hug between them like a thick smog. “Oh… you mean- oh… wow…” she said softly, not sure what to say.

 

“I am so- so sorry Hayley….” Kades words were choked and his voice shaking as they spilled out like water form a broken dame, every one full of regret. “I never… I never ever intended for it to happen! I was so happy with you, it just… kinda did. I wasn’t looking for it, it never even crossed my mind before. And I never ever meant to treat you so badly. I’m so, so sorry. I was being such a fuckin’ ass.” Came his apologetic ramble. 

 

“Yes you were an ass.” She agreed plainly, still somewhat reeling from the shock. But at least he was honest, knew when he was wrong and finely apologizing for his actions.  
“I was… there’s no excuse but… my head was-has been- all over the place recently. With the fire, being out of action and-and this…” He trailed off rubbing a hand over his tired bearded face.   
“So you’re gay?” She asked bluntly. This caused the fireman to grit his teeth, a sudden burst of anger and frustration, a bit more like the old Kade she knew, resurfacing.

 

“No! Yes… sort-FUCK! I don’t know anymore Hayley!!” his voice braking as he started pulling at his hair in complete frustration. “I don’t know!”  
“Hay, Hay! Take it easy.” Hayley soothed, placing a gentle hand on his back. “It’s okay…”  
“No it’s not! I’m sick of feeling like this and I-I don’t know what I’m doing anymore!” He wailed, looking like he was on the verge of having a complete mental breakdown.   
“Dose your family know about this?” The botanist asked gently. The red head shook his head.

 

“No… but after our rather spectacular break up in the driveway, Dad came to give me a tongue lashing for being a dick and… I kinda spilled my guts to him,” Kade sighed heavily, some of the tension seemingly being released form his shoulders as he spoke, “I just… I couldn’t take lying anymore. I had to tell someone.” The handsome young man then looked up and into the blondes eye’s. “I’m just… so, so sorry about how I treated you, I’ve just-been really confused and guilty about how I’ve been feeling. I know I was in pain but you didn’t deserve me taking all my frustrations out on you. I’m just… really sorry about everything.” His bright blue eyes were so sorrowful, full of such genuine remorse and sincerity that the young woman could only sigh and give him a soft understanding smile. 

 

“I accept your apology, but I just wished you’d of talked to me Kade.” Hayley said with a deep sigh and shake of her head. “Even if you hadn’t told me about this other guy and just told me you weren’t feeling the same, we could have ended not so… explosively.”  
“I know, I’m sorry…” He said again, hanging his head in shame. “I was being a coward… “  
“That’s a bit harsh… I think you were just being human.” She smiled.

 

“But no one else knows, Hayley!” He said urgently. “You and Dad are the only people who I’ve told. I know I’ve been awful to you and I have no right to ask. But could you not tell anyone, please? I’m not ready for everyone to know. I really can’t handle that right now. Please.” The fireman looked at her with such anguished pleading eye’s. Her heart strings being pulled to the max. Of course she wouldn’t tell anyone, but she wasn’t going to let him get away without giving her something in return. 

 

“Alright, but only on one condition…” The blonde said firmly.  
“Name it.” He said instantly, looking desperate to secure her silence.  
“Tell me about him,” She said plainly. “I’d like hear what he’s like. I’m really curious because he’d have to be something out of this world to turn your head that far round.” She smiled slyly. Kade looked relieved, actually snorted and let out a bark of a laugh; able to see the humour however morbid he felt. She’d never know how right on the money she was. 

 

“Yeah, he’s… really from another galaxy, alright.” The fireman shook his head, a scowl pulling at his handsome face. “He’s grouchy and sarcastic dick. Always frowning. Always thinks he right, never listens to what I say! Always complaining he never get any credit for his work. He has this infuriating smirk and delights in dousing me in cold water from his hoses! God, he can be such an ass-hat!” Kade growled, running a hand over his face.  
“Hummm… Now who dose that remind me off…” Hayley said in amusement, giving him an amused side-eyed glance. It was good to see him a bit more like himself again. Kade just gave her a withering look before his face softened, his gaze becoming unfocused as he continued. 

 

“But, saying all that… He’s also the bravest person I know,” Kade admitted gently, leaning back into the plush sofa and looking up at the ceiling. “He’s so strong and confident. Not afraid to call out bullshit, especially mine. He makes me feel… safe. Yeah he’s rough round the edges but… at times he’s can be so gentle and kind. He’s a real leader that’s been through so much crap. He lost his home through a war. He lost everything apart from his team. He has this motto, help where needed. No matter what or who. Always ready to put his life on the line to save lives… risk everything for the ones he cares about…” Kade said gently, fat tears welling up in his eyes as he thought about the bot he loved so dearly and that it was his life Heatwave was willing to die for.

 

“My god, the poor guy.” The blonde woman suddenly had images of war torn eastern countries, where a brave man and his firefighting team did their best to save lives but losing everything else in the process. Her curiosity only growing as the red head spoke about his mysterious man. “So, what does he look like? Do you have a picture?” Hayley asked, eager to know just what kind of man would awaken such feeling for someone of the same sex in a man who she’d thought was as solid and straight as an concrete piller.

 

“Well, no, I don’t have a picture, he’s… got a funny thing about it being taken. Hate’s it actually.” Kade said quickly, congratulated himself for his quick thinking. He rubbed the back of his neck as he pictured his partner in his head, though obviously the robot version came up first, he closed his eye’s and described Heatwaves holoform to his ex. “He’s taller than me, really buff. Short black hair. Dark tanned skin. Bright, honey coloured eyes…” Kade said softly, remembering everything he loved about his partner’s human avatar, even if it was painful to do so.

 

“Heh, he has rough stubble on his jaw and his voice…” a soft wistful smile appeared on his face, Kade let out a soft sigh as he remembered all the sweet thing the bot has whispered to him in moments for intimacy. “He has a real deep, gravelly voice. It’s scary when he yells but… When he’s being sweet… It’s like a gentle purr.”   
“Well… I’m not gonna lie. He sounds so hella hot.” Hayley made a contemplative face and nodded to herself.  
“Yeah, and the dickhead knows it,” Kade snorted with a short laugh, remembering how his partner would use his sex appeal to tease and entice the human at every opportunity, both subtle and no so subtlety. Torturing the poor human with whatever he could get away with when they were in public.

 

“Now I know there is no one like that on the island, where’s he from?” Hayley asked, her whole demeanour one of absolute fascination and curiosity. Kade took a slurp of his drink to buy time.  
“He’s from… a really long way away… ” He said cryptically.   
“Yeah, you said he’s people were at war, so where?” The blonde pressed. Kade was now kicking himself and his lose lips and not being as clever as he thought. His brain shorting out in a mild panic as it tried to think of a plausible war torn country.

 

“Sudan.” Kade said finely, gulping the mouthful he had. “He’s form Sudan.”  
“Wow, the poor guy. I’m guessing he came over here as a refugee?” Hayley guessed.  
“Pretty much.” Kade nodded, because technically, the bots were indeed alien refugees.  
“So what’s the name of this hunky mystery man of yours? We’ve been talking and you haven’t even said!” The pretty woman grinned, Kade delayed answering by taking another very long and very slow sip of his tea. Racking his brain for a suitable human name, one that he would easily remember for future conversations.

 

“His name’s Heath.” Kade said definitively after swallowing. Figuring it was close enough to Heatwave for him to associate with it. The fireman breathed a small sigh of relieve as Hayley didn’t question it she just gave him a genuinely sappy smile. The botanist couldn’t help herself, there was real adoration and passion there in the fireman’s voice as he talked about this man. It was something they didn’t have together. She was truly so happy for him. 

 

Okay, maybe she was a little, teeny bit, jealous of this guy for stealing her boyfriend away and pulling Kade out of a closet he didn’t even know he was in. But from the sounds of it… she’d probably fall head over heels for this guy too. This Heath sounded utterly gorgeous. Hayley honestly really hoped she’d be able to meet him. Her train of thought neatly brought her round to her next question.

 

“So, you two seeing each other explains our breakup but, why the tears?” she asked. Kades small ghost of a smile dropped completely, tears again pooled in his eye’s as his shoulder slumped. The sudden change alarmed the teacher. “Oh god, Kade! What on earth’s happened?!” she cried, sitting up and taking his hand in hers, giving it a comforting squeeze which he returned. Protectiveness rearing up in her as concerned crossed her pretty face. “Has he hurt you?!” 

 

“NO!” the red head cried in clear exasperation that surprised her. “GOD NO! Why do people think he hurts me?! That was dad’s reaction too!”  
“Probably because he’s making you cry like a baby and you are NOT that type of person!” She scowled, justifying her logic. “So clearly if you’re this upset, something really bad has happened.” The young man clamed back up and looked at his feet, a few tears leaked from his eye’s and slid down his cheek. 

 

“Kade, no matter what I’m still your friend. Please, I just want to understand and help if I can. Nothing will leave this room, I promise. Just talk to me.” Kade gave a long ragged sigh, sniffing loudly as he scrubbed at his face, looking tired, worn and far older then he was. 

 

“He got hurt Hayley. At work in a fire… really, really badly,” He wrung his hands in agitation as he spoke, his voice strained and quiet clearly trying to restrain his pain. “Only a few days after me…” Her face dropped in sudden understanding. No wonder the red head had been in such a state.  
“Oh no, is he alright?” She asked quickly. “He’s not…?” she trailed off dreading the answer to the unasked question.

 

“No. He’s alive.” Kade said, giving the botanist a little relief. “But he was in a coma for a really long time… I only found out how bad he’d been hurt after I got out the hospital.”  
“Oh my god, talk about really horrid timing.” Hayley gasped, her former boyfriend had been in the hospital for weeks. It must have been hell for Kade not to be able to talk to him and then find out about his new lovers own accident. “How is he now? Is he still in hospital?” She asked.

 

“It was touch and go for a long time. But he’s awake now.” Kade said softly.  
“Kade! That’s wonderful news!” She cried happily, but the botanists smile faded at her ex’s still sombre expression.  
“It would be but, when he woke up… turns out he lost his memory. But only his memories about me. So now to him, it’s like I never existed. He doesn’t know who I am or… remember anything we had together.”  
“Holy crap, Kade.” Hayley was dumbfounded. The situation was so surreal, having all the elements of a daytime melodrama.

 

“So now, I have all these… feelings and- and he just-doesn’t know me anymore! Doesn’t feel anything for me! What we had, everything we went through, all the time we spent together is just- gone! It’s just been erased! He looks at me like I’m a stranger!” Kade cried out pulling at his hair in sheer frustration and despair. “And-I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now?! How do I cope with this?! I can’t talk to anyone about it because no one knows! No one knows what I’m going through or how hard this is! I just-just can’t deal with this anymore!” Kade crumbled in defeat, face in his hands and shoulders hunched. He started sobbing again, body shaking as he broke down form stress and grief. 

 

Hayley immediately scooted closer and wrapped him up in a much needed hug. The strong young man, was reluctant at first but didn’t have the strength to resist and accepted her comfort. Wrapping his arms around her and crying quietly into her shoulder, the botanist couldn’t fathom how must pressure Kade must have be suffering under all this time. It must have been crushing. No wonder he was in such a awful state. Sadly, there was only so much she could offer in platitudes, advise and friendly support… but she was determined to do her best for the man she still cared a lot for.

 

“Kade, I’m so sorry.” She said softly, “You don’t deserve this. Neither of you do. I wish you’d told me sooner, you know you could have come to talk to me… you didn’t need to shoulder this alone.”  
“I-I didn’t think you’d understand… I don’t think anyone would understand…” Kade muttered and sniffed loudly. “Fuck, I don’t even get what I’m doing half the time…”  
“You’re scared of what people will think of you aren’t you? If they found out about the two of you?” The blonde woman said plainly. “That’s why you’ve not told your family about you, right? Or about Heath?”

 

“I don’t… I don’t want to lose them Hayley.” Kade admitted his fear in a barely audible voice, face still pressed against her shoulder, arms now lose around her waist, the woman could feel the fearful tremble in his body. “I’m… I don’t want my family to hate me. I don’t want the town to turn on me… I don’t wanna lose my job. What’d I do if that happened? I can’t even think-” The botanist was heartbroken to hear the usually strong man say such things. He must be truly petrified of the possible negative outcome of admitting who he was to the island to keep all this pain bottle up for so long.

 

“Kade, don’t be daft, you’re family are the most accepting people I’ve ever known. You’re dad took it well didn’t he? I am pretty sure your brothers and sister wouldn’t give two hoots about who you were with, just as long as you were happy and they treated you right.” Hayley snorted, imagining the melting death glares and physical damage Dani could do if she found out someone had hurt her big brother. Or the stubble, devious and calculated mishaps Graham could inflict on the unsuspecting target. Hayley had a feeling there was a dark streak in the quiet young man. For as much as they fought, the Burns siblings were fiercely protective and loved one-another dearly. 

 

“And as for the town, again, I’m sure no one is really gonna care.” She said confidently. “Okay, so the worse thing that can happen is that you might be hot gossip for a week or two, but you know we are a small island right. It’s gonna be talked about. But they’ll get bored soon enough and move on. Besides, it’s the freaking 21st century! It’s not that big a deal nowadays.”  
“But-But what if…” Kade started, but the young woman cut him off before he could work himself up, seeing where his train of thought was going.

 

“What? Some homophobic douchebag complains and tries causing a fuss? I’m pretty sure whatever complaint they could come up with will get shot down before anyone take’s it even remotely seriously. If some people have a problem with you, that’s theirs to deal with. I know for a fact your family and friend will back you to the hilt and fight tooth and nail in your corner. Besides, the council can’t discriminate against you just because sometimes you like to munch on a meaty hotdog instead of fish tacos.”

 

Despite all the tears, Kade actually let out a loud guffaw at her ridiculous analogy, so much so he pulled back to laugh. It was a genuine and wonderful sound to hear from him after all of the tears. It delighted her to see the smile on his face as he looked at her with a ‘WTF, where did that come from?’ expression. It was exactly what the pretty botanist was after, something to brighten his mood, help try and show him that ‘coming out’ wasn’t as scary as he thought. 

 

“I can’t believe you just said that! I now can NEVER eat fish tacos again without laughing.” He sniggered, pinching the bridge of his nose as his shoulders shook with mirth at the outrageousness.  
“You’re welcome.” She smirked. “But seriously Kade, the only one you’re hurting by keeping this secret is yourself. Just accept it, that part of you. I know it’s a really daunting step and yes, there might be a dick head or two along the way, but in the long run, you’ll be so much happier if you’re just open and honest. And you’re not alone. You’ll have your family and you got me. Anyone’s got a problem with you. I’ll fucking destroy them by putting toxicodendron diversilobum in their beds.” The blond woman said, meaning every single word. 

 

Kade wiped the tears away from his eye’s and gave an amused snort at her vow, even though he didn’t know what plant she spoke of, he knew it’d be something painful and she would absolutely go through with it. His heart was warmed by her kind words. She clearly cared for him despite everything he’d done and was willing to support him. Talking to her had actually made him feel better. It had cleared the air between them, relieved him of horrid guilt that had been plaguing him ever since he and Heatwave had started their affair. It made Kade hopeful that they could at least now have a decent friendship after everything.

 

“Thank you Hayley. I never deserved you.” He smiled at her, taking her hand and giving it an affectionate squeeze. The blonde grinned, returning the gesture and shrugged good-naturedly.  
“Maybe not as a girlfriend. But as just a friend, you totally need me to knock sense into that thick head of yours.”


	15. Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its the morning after Kade's confession to Hayley and everything seems to be looking a little bit brighter... at least for the moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as prommised... the next chapter!
> 
> so i kinda worked it out that there will be another 5 more chapters to THIS particular arch of the series.
> 
> but dont worry your pretty little heads, i have more to come 
> 
> thanks for the kudos and comments!
> 
> all very much loved!
> 
> xxx

Hayley and Kade talked for what seemed like hours. About his feelings for ‘Heath’, how he still loved him dearly. Yet even though the red head wanted him in his life, every time he saw him it just hurt beyond words. They talked about how to deal with the situation, about all the possibilities outcomes and probabilities. There was no clear answer, they ended up going round in circles and just gave the fireman a headache.

 

Kade wound up spending the night at his former girlfriends, almost conking out on the botanists sofa more than once before she insisted on him remaining. Graciously Hayley offered up the use of her guest room to the hapless fireman. Kade readily accepted, he didn’t want to go home and face his family right now. He just wanted a bit of space from them and their questions… and from Heatwave. Especially from the Mech. The red head was somewhat dreading the inevitable meeting that was to come. 

 

The oldest Burns sibling was utterly exhausted from the immense emotional drain and the blissful rushing relief of just unloading all his problems onto someone. Just talking over things and his fears with an ‘outsiders’ perspective view seemed to make everything a little clearer and not so hopeless. The red head managed to fire off a quick text to his dad, just to let him know that he was safe and staying round a friends for the night, literally falling into the spare bed and into sleep before his head even touched the pillow. 

 

Hayley was up early the next morning as it was a school day. Kade was eternally grateful for her kindness and even more so for giving him the use of her shower as she made a quick breakfast for them. The young man felt much more human after he’d emerged. It was as if the hot water had helped to wash away a lot of the stress and troubles from his body, soothing his tired and bruised soul. He still felt drained and tired… but the crushing pressure he was under had eased. Kade now knew he had someone he could trust, that he could come and talk to. Someone who wouldn’t judge him for what he was… even if he hadn’t told her the whole truth. 

 

Breakfast was bagels, cream cheese and tea as the radio played in the background. It was so peaceful and relaxing. Like how they used to have mornings when they were still dating and he’d stay over. If he were honest, Kade had always like this part of their relationship the most. Hayley was always so easy to talk too and just hang out with. Now that he wasn’t trying to impress, hit on or flirt with her every second, everything just felt… so much better! Like they had been always been life-long friends. That THIS was what they were always supposed to be. The fireman found that he was more than okay with that. It was a shame it just took this whole mess with Heatwave to fide it out.

 

Hayley offered Kade a ride back to the firehouse on her way to school. Kade thanked her, but said he could use the walk. Good thinking time. They left the house and Hayley gave him a hug and friendly peck on the cheek. Telling him to call her whenever he needed a talk or just to hang out. They arranged a meet up later in the week for a catch up and then went their separate ways. Kade called his farther and let him know he was on his way home. 

 

The older man, understandably, asked if he was okay. Not wanting to get into it on the street and risk blubbering again, Kade just told him he was fine and that they’d talk later. He was going to have to tell him that Hayley knew about him and his relationship with ‘another man’. The chief just said okay and softly told him he loved him. Kade couldn’t help the swell of affection in his heart for his dad, and gently replied with same sentiment before hanging up.

 

The fireman walked through the town, a few early morning risers already out and bout. Joggers, walking dogs and delivering goods in and around the small settlement. People calling out greeting’s to him with happy smiles and cheerful waves. A few stopping to chat briefly, asking how he was doing and how he was handling being back at work. All seemed genuinely concerned for his welfare and happy to see him. Perhaps Hayley was right? Would it really be so bad to just to be himself, whatever it was, would anyone really care if he ‘came out’?

 

But then, he and Heatwave were no longer together. So looking at it with a fresh mind… Was it even worth it? Was there really even any point in stressing about it now? It wasn’t like he could tell the town the truth about banging an alien robot anyway. Kade begun to wonder if he would ever feel that way for a human man the way he did for the rescue bot? After all, he did really enjoy being with Heatwave ‘s human holo form. It was possible he supposed. Now he was open to the idea… it could happen… The fireman groaned to himself…. He could feel another headache coming on.

 

His train of thought interrupted as he reached his home. The garage door was open and the red head could see Graham and Boulder working on… something. His brother was almost bent in half, torso inside the contraption, butt in the air as he stood on tip toes to reach inside. His mech just looking so utterly intrigued by the humans work, the adorable way only the gentle green giant could. Kade smiled to himself, watching them tinker for a few moments before calling a good morning and striding in as if he had no care in the world, the two others looked up in surprise. 

 

“Kade, there you are! You weren’t at dinner, where on earth did you get to last night?” His brother asked, brow furrowed in curious concern.  
“I was round Hayley’s.” Kade said nonchalantly with a shrug. He didn’t see the point in lying about it. He already had enough secrets to deal with.  
“Wow! So are you two, like, back together?” His mousey haired sibling asked, wiggling his fingers back and forth. Kade snorted and shook his head.  
“Nah, we just talked. We had some things to hash out.” He admitted.  
“Oh dear, I’m really sorry to hear that Kade,” The green mech said gently, his orange optics looking so sympathetic. “I know how much you liked her.”

 

“Ah, don’t sweat it B.” Kade said, waving it off with a fond smile. “Turns out we get on far better as just plain friends then boyfriend-girlfriend.”  
“Really? That’s…. really mature of you Kade.” The human engineer said with a puzzled frown, as if he wasn’t sure the red head standing before him was actually his own brother. Kade just shot him a disgruntled glower.  
“What?! I am quite capable of adulating you know!” he huffed folding his burly arms.

 

“Only when you have to.” The younger man chuckled, pushing his glasses up his nose as he tossed his tools back into his tool box, his bulldozer partner sniggering along with him as he picked up the machine they had been working on. The fireman just rolled his eyes and threw up his hands.  
“Yeah, yeah, whatever! I’m going to go get changed.” He snipped with no real venom. Marching over to his locker and pulling out a new set of yellow trousers and over coat as the engineering duo left through the large doors, sniggering to themselves as they called a fond ‘see you later’. The fireman shook his head ruefully, the playful banter between him and his sibling raising his spirits a little further, unfortunately, his goodish mood didn’t last long.

 

“Kade?” Came an instantly recognisable voice from behind him, it had the red head freezing on the spot. His stomach dropping and frayed nerves unravelling fast. The human had been hoping he’d have a little more time to prepare himself before seeing the fire truck.  
“Oh, hay Heatwave.” Kade said over his shoulder, not wanting to turn round and look at his partner. He said it as casually as possible, trying to pretend that nothing was wrong and that nothing had happened between them.   
“You, ugh, you didn’t come home last night.” The bot said softly, sounding as if he had been worried.  
“Yeah, I stayed round Hayley’s. You remember ‘HER’ right?” Kade couldn’t stop the bitter sounding words from tumbling free. He regretted them almost instantly. It was a nasty spiteful little dig at the poor bot he knew, but he was tired, heartbroken and, at this very moment, simply just done with it all.

 

“Yeah… I remember her.” The mech mumbled, sounding sheepish and guilty. “Kade, can we talk?” Heatwave asked gently, approaching the red haired human as if he were a wild swarm of scraplets that would pounce on him if provoked. The fireman sighed deeply, steadying his nerves before turning round with a fake plastered smile. He knew this talk was going to have to happen, didn’t mean he was going to like it.  
“Sure. What’s up?” The rescue bot shifted uncomfortably on the spot and looked around.

 

“Can we go somewhere… more private?” Heatwave asked quietly, clearly not wanting this conversation to be overheard by anyone.   
“Why?” the human asked, his patience quickly wearing thin.  
“It’s about… what happened the other day.” The bot clarified, looking at him meaningfully.  
“Heatwave, I really don’t think we need to drag that up again, do you.” Kade said a sourly, turning back round to slam his locker closed, a resounding bang echoed through the garage. That threatening headache was now becoming a reality.

 

“No, I think we really need to talk about this.” The mech said, waving in the space between them. “About us.”  
“There is no us!” The red head hissed angrily, feeling the horrid prickle in his eyes again, he was so sick of crying. “Not anymore! So we have nothing to talk about! We can’t change it so we just carry on as we are! It doesn’t matter. End of discussion. Good talk. Now… I’m going up stairs to change.” 

 

The fireman grabbed his clothing and moved off towards the elevator. Not casting the robot another glance, heart thudding angrily in his chest as he tried to control his breathing. He really didn’t need this right now, he just wanted to go upstairs, curl up on his bed and stare at the wall for a few hours. Maybe then he’d be able to look at his former lover without feeling so desperately angry and broken. 

 

Kade was a few feet from the lift when he herd loud, solid steps quickly coming towards him.

 

The human looked round, he actually growled in frustration, a scowl already plastered on his bearded face, prepared to continue the argument. The irony, it was a bitter reminder to him of the ones they used to have when they first met. But Kade found his eyebrows shooting up his head at the sight of a determined red alien barrelling towards him at speed without any signs of stopping. Kade froze as he saw the mechs servo come down, he gave a panicked yelp as he was snatched up from the ground a little roughly, cloths dropping to the ground. Before he could say a word they were moving fast towards the open doors of the firehouse.

 

“Hay! What th-Put me down!” the human yelled form the robots grasp.  
“No, we need to talk! You need to listen to what I have to say!” Heatwave rumbled lowly, glass chest opening and unceremoniously threw Kade into his cab. The young man gave a startled yelp as he was upended into the small space, and then a sharp screech of pain as he hit his bad shoulder. A lightning bolt of pure agony shot through him. He hissed, grabbing his arm as he righted himself. Beyond angry now. He was bloody livid!  
“What the flaming fuck do you think you’re doing?! God dame it that hurt you fucking jackass! Let me the fuck out!” Kade snarled, furiously starting to thump a fist against the toughened glass.

 

But the rescue bot was clearly not listening. He strode out of the firehouse and transformed quickly, Kade felt vertigo for a few moments, a dropping sensation as he felt the bot shape shift and change around him. The human tried the cab doors but the Cybertronian had them firmly locked. The human quickly realizing he wasn’t getting out unless the mech wanted him to. He was effectively being kidnapped.

 

Moments later, Heatwaves tyres were squealing on the tarmac as he shot off and speed. Heading out of the town like a bat out of hell. The fireman still screaming inside of him to let him go.


	16. Hashing things out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kade and Heatwave hash a few things out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoot! steaming along.
> 
> not much to say except enjoy!

“LET. ME. THE. FUCK. OUT!” Kade bellowed, kicking the fire trucks dash hard with a heavy booted foot.   
“OW!” Heatwave yelped, the organic only scowled and did it again and with much more force. “Hay! Quit it!” The mech growled from his screen.  
“NO! LET ME OUT YOU FUCKING ASSHAT!” The young man snarled giving him another swift belt with his foot, this time catching a tender spot on the underside where there were delicate wires. It made the Cybertronian swerve wildly on the road. Luckily it was still early and there was no other traffic.

 

“If you don’t stop that I’m gonna crash!” The bot snapped angrily. “And that HURTS!”  
“GOOD! On both accounts!” The human shot back. “What?! Did you think was gonna happen?! That I was just going to let you kidnap me!”  
“I am not kidnaping you!” Heatwave sighed exasperatedly.  
“Wait!” The red head gasped dramatically. “Is taking someone without their consent and holding them against their will is NOT Kidnapping?! How have I been wrong all these years?!” He spat sarcastically. 

 

“Will you just clam down!” The bot growled. “I’m just trying to talk to you!”  
“This is not talking! This is abduction!” the red head spat venomously.   
“Well you only have yourself to blame!” The robot growled back.  
“Ah! Spoken like a true abusive asshole!” Kade smirked and thumped his fist hard against the dash for good measure. Heatwaves face winced from the sharp, jarring jolt, didn’t the human know how sensitive his interior was?!

 

The fireman continued his barrage of insults, demands and physical attacks till the mech could take no more. Luckily they were now far enough away from anyone that might interrupt them. He pulled onto a dirt road so they would be concealed by some of the tree line for extra privacy. He stopped and flung open his door. Relived when the human immediately existed his cab.  
“About fucking time!” Kade yelled as he jumped out, slamming the mech door extra hard for good measure.

 

“Hay! Where do you think you’re going?!” heatwave scowled, the human already starting back the way they had come.  
“What?! You think I’m gonna stick around with some crazy alien who snatched me form my home against my will?!”  
“Will you just stop!” the robot sighed in exasperation.  
“Fuck off Heatwave!” The human snarled over his shoulder as he stalked away. “You’re lucky if I don’t tell my dad or Optimus about the stunt you just pulled!” 

 

“Oh no you don’t!” The mech quickly knelt down and snagged the organics shirt before he could get too far, halting the young man in his tracks. The human let out a surprised squeak as he was only lightly strangled. Kade nearly fell on his ass form the sudden stop, he made an irate, disgruntled noise in his chest and twisted round to swat at the robots hand.

 

“Get the fuck off me!” Kade yelled and hit the mechs servo hard, luckily his outer armour was a lot more resilient then his soft interior and the strike really didn’t hurt.  
“You got a real potty mouth when you’re angry don’t ya.” The bot pointed out, not quite hiding the slight amusement in his voice. It only served to make the fireman all the more infuriated.  
“Fuck you shit-head!” the man snapped.  
“Apparently you already have.” the mech shot back before he could stop himself. It made both of the freeze in shock for a moment, colour staining bother their faces before the human went even redder, his anger rose to an all new height.

 

“Let. Me. Go!” the human hissed quietly, his blue eye’s full of hurt and fury.   
“No. WE. NEED. TO. TALK!” The rescue bot said firmly, tugging lightly on the humans cloths, just enough to ‘encourage’ him to come closer. “Look, I promise if you stay and just fragging talk about this now, I will never bring it up again!”  
“You better not!” Kade growled, twisting round enough to get the fabric to slip from the aliens digits. “Because I can’t keep doing this Heatwave!”  
“Doing what?” the mech asked with a suddenly puzzled frown.

 

“I can’t keep bring up the past! How am I supposed to move on and get over you if you keep trying to ‘Talk’ about it!” He yelled up at the giant robot.  
“So you expect to be able to just dump a bombshell like that on me and think I’d NOT wanna talk about it!” The mech snarled back. “YOU SAID WE WERE LOVERS, KADE!”

 

“Yeah, the key word is ‘were’!” The human snapped back. “As in the past-tense. Before you went all factory setting Buzz lightyear on me!” Not surprisingly, the reference went sailing clear over the mechs giant helm.   
“Hun?” the poor bot just gave him a clearly confused look. Kade sighed and rolled his eyes.  
“Forget it… in fact just-forget everything I said.” The fireman said waving his hands in a dismissive motion. “It was a stupid thing to do! I should never have said anything!”

 

“But I’m glad you did…” the bot said softly, his golden optics now looking so warm and his face so gentle. Kade had to look away. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he closed his eyes and decided to just focus on breathing and getting though this conversation without breaking down into another blubbering mess like yesterday.  
“Why?” The young man asked tiredly. “What possible reason could you knowing about what we were doing together, have any significant meaning to you now?!”

 

“Kade please… I know-I mean-” The mech sighed heavily, his great air vents gushing loudly. “Primus, I can’t even imagine what you must been going through. Healing from the fire and then, having to deal with me when no one else knew.” The bot said gently, compassion clear in his deep velvety voice.  
“Wait, how do you know, no one else knew about us? Oh god!” the red head suddenly went a pail as a sheet of printer paper. “Holy shit, have you told anyone about what I said?!”

 

“No! I haven’t said anything to anyone!” The mech said quickly to reassure the panicked human. “From the way they’ve all been acting, I guessed not! I swear to Primus, I haven’t said anything to anyone! I didn’t want to risk upsetting you more by outing us!”  
“Thank fuck for Small miracles. That’s something at least.” Kade breathed a sigh of great relief. He cast a look at the mech he loved so dearly, his heart panging with longing. He was to tired and feed up to fight anymore. “Alright…I’ll stay and talk. So… what do you wanna say to me?” The mech was quiet for a few moments, remaining in his kneeling position as he composed himself and his words.

 

“Kade, we’ve lost what we once had,” The mech started slowly. “And even though I can’t remember anything about our time together… I can see that I’ve lost something… very special.”  
“Yeah…” Kade graced him with a very small sad smile, already hating the fact that he could feel the prickle of hot tears in his eyes. “It was special. Best thing that ever happened to me.” He admitted quietly.   
“But I’ve found that, even if I don’t have those memories now… I know what I feel in my spark.” The bot said cryptically, placing a large servo over his chest.  
“What on earth are you talking about?” The human asked tiredly, already completely done with this conversation as he scrubbed at his eye’s, trying to stave off the tears from falling.

 

“My mind might not know you, but my spark sure dose.” Heatwave said as clarification. It just annoyed the red head, still not understanding what he was trying to say.  
“I- look man, stop mincing around and just-say what you’re trying to tell me.” He said in exasperation, running a hand slowly over his bearded face.  
“Why do you think I’ve been so distant from you?” The bot asked. “Did you ever stop to think about how I’VE been feeling about all’a this?” Kade was a little taken back. Because, now that he thought about it… no, he hadn’t thought about it. He’d been so caught up in his own despair and grief over the mech that he’d not even considered what his alien lover may have been feeling.

 

“Ugh… No. I just though, well- ya’know…” He trailed off with a shrug and no real explanation.   
“Well, from my perspective. I wake up, I know everyone there, we have history and memories together, but you are suddenly there- someone I have never seen before in my life!” The bot said, but could see how deeply his words stung the young human. The red head bristled, shifting uneasily on the spot.  
“Your point?” Kade said curtly, wanting to know where this was all going and get this talk over with ASAP.

 

“So, I wake up, I have no clue who you are… But I saw you standing there, looking like you’ve been in a war zone… I hear your voice… See you smile at me and- my spark suddenly feels like it’s pulsing a million miles an hour!” Heatwave said with a very adamant expression. “I looked at you- someone I didn’t even know existed- and I suddenly can’t stop feeling like you’re the missing piece of a crucial circuit I desperately needed all my life.”  
“What?” Was all Kade could say, he was just so confused, not entirely understanding what the mech was trying to say. Not wanting to allow himself even the smallest kernel of hope from what he was implying. Kade couldn’t bare to have his soul crush yet again if he got this wrong. The big being shook his mighty helm as he mulled over his thoughts before continuing.

 

“It’s… hard to explain, I don’t fully understand it but… When I’m with you. All those time we sat and talked about the past. My spark was feeling like it’s about to explode!” He cried out. “I. Don’t. Know. you! But- I FEEL like I have all my life!” The red truck looked almost as confused as Kade felt. “My spark gets bright when I see you smile or I hear you laugh. I find myself just wanting to watch you and be near you... You’re a stranger to me, but my spark… It hurts when I see you so sad…” Heatwave spoke quietly, he raised a hand hesitantly, it hovered so close to the young man, Kade could feel the heat and static form the metal. “Seeing you like… hurting so much… because of me… is killing me…”

 

“Heatwave…” Kade voice shook, hot fat tears sliding down his cheek as he looked up at the alien. Not wanting to believe what he was apparently saying. The fireman was so desperately to lean over and just… rest against the warm living metal like he used too, to take comfort from his strong solid touch, bask in his EM field. But the human stubbornly refused to open his heart, locking it down tight, afraid of it getting trampled again. “Stop it… please… Don’t do this. I can’t take it… You don’t know what you’re saying…”

 

“I do.” The rescue bot said firmly. Slowly closing the gap between them, his servo ever so gently ghosted over the young mans tear streaked cheek. The red head let out a soft strangled sob, unable to stop him-self from turning his face into to the bitter sweet touch. Feeling all his resistance crumble at the tender promising caress.   
“What are you saying… just tell me…”The human felt like he was about to shatter into a thousand pieces or sore into the sky, depending on the mechs next words. He didn’t know if he could handle either.

 

“Kade, no one can bring back those memories, I wish to holy Primus we could, but they are gone forever. The thing is- if you’re willing to give me a chance… I think I’d love to make new ones with you. Rediscover you… and us, all over again.” 

 

“No… no…You can’t be serious?!” Kade growled stepping away from the longed for touch he’d been yearning for. “You’re telling me, you’d be willing to do that… Just from a gut feeling?!”  
“I don’t have gut’s… but I trust my spark completely. It’s never steered me wrong.” The fire-truck said softly, his velvety voice a deep purr. “I’ve never felt this way with anyone, the way I do when I’m with you Kade. Not in 4 million years. I’d be a fool to ignore it. I’m not suggesting we jump back in like nothing happened. We just- take it slow and steady… a day at a time and see what happens.” 

 

“What if… it doesn’t? What if we don’t ‘work’ again?” The fireman asked shakily.   
“It’s possible… Not saying it’s gonna be easy and- perhaps too much has happened between us for us to be like we were, but then they say, love is nothing without risk, is it?” The bot smiled, a warm and hopeful thing that made the young mans heart beat fast and hopefully in his chest. “So… whaddya say? You think we’re worth another chance?” The mech asked, again moving his servo close to the human, offering it freely.

 

The pair just looked at each other for long moments. The air between them thick with tension… 

 

“We… Could give it another shot… yeah… I’d like to.” Kade said softly, blue eye’s bright and wet with tears, but this time, they were ones of happy-hopefulness. He actually laughed at the entire situation as he sniffed and scrubbed at his bearded face. “Yeah… we can try.” He said with a wobbly smile. The rescue bot smiled gently and cupped the human in his servo. Fingers gentle against the fireman’s back as his thumb brushed against the scarred side of the humans face and ruffled his vibrant hair. 

 

Kade seemed to lose all control of his body as he just flopped against the solid comforting hand, finely allowing himself the chance to entertain hope, revel in the fact that his partner apparently still cared about him, and enjoy the comforting presents that was Heatwave. The bot was right… it was likely not going to be easy, but after the disaster of the last few months. Tomorrow was all of a sudden starting to look so much brighter…

 

Like the mech said, they’d just have to take things slow and one day at a time…

 

Kade just held onto the one truth that was clear… even after everything… Heatwave still wanted him still loved him… and with that knowledge… the red head now had the strength to face anything.


	17. Tentative Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things will never be the same... but that not to say things cant be good again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the pause guys, works been busy and i have 3 conventions coming up! HyperJapan, London film and comic con and ofcorse TFNation!
> 
> and for some reason... my stupid arse decided to do two cosplay this year... as if i don't have enough to do!
> 
> as always... i love your comments and kudos!
> 
> much love

The next morning when Kade woke, he actually felt better than he had in months. By no means was he ‘happy’ per say, not yet, but he did feel better. Now knowing Heatwave, somehow, still cared strongly enough for him to even try having something like the relationship they once had. It had done a lot to raise his spirits. Hearing the handsome mech confess that he still felt something so strong and true for Kade had been a soothing balm on his broken soul. It cooled his frustration and lifted the oppressive loneliness and loss he constantly felt. It didn’t hurt that he now had confided in his dad and Hayley.

 

Today, they had both been rotated off, barring any dire emergencies that needed their particular skills. They planned yesterday to take a drive up to blossom vale and just sit and talk properly. Kade dressed in more computable, casual attire. The partners found a quiet spot overlooking the valley. It was warm and a pleasant, gentle breeze rustled the grass around them as they sat and conversed. Getting to know each other all over again for the third time.

 

It was a little awkward at first, but Heatwave had a heaping mountain of new questions for his organic companion and they both fell into easy chat. The mech asked how they had first gotten together. Kade’s cheek’s flushing rosy pink as he shyly recounted the very out of the blue detour they had taken which had ended with Kades trousers around his ankles in a park. Heatwave had just chuckled brightly and told him, he could defiantly see himself doing it.

 

Kade told the mech how it had been a sharp turn in their dynamic and, over time, they had begun hanging out outside of work. They would sit and watched movies, listened to music or cheered along with sports. Kade spoke about how much he’d come to love the time he spent with the mech, how it had started to mean more to him than the time he spent with his girlfriend. How for the first time in his life, how truly lonely the red head had felt without the bot by his side after the fire. Realising just how much he absolutely loved the mech and needed him. 

 

The Cybertronian sat and listed to the human speak avidly, drinking everything in and asking question upon question. Clearly wanting and eager to know every single detail from the past he could not remember. Hours passed as they chatted, both losing themselves in the retelling of stories, side tracking every 5 minutes into other interesting anecdotes and funny tales. After a long while, there had been a natural lull in the conversation as the pair quietly contemplated the situation they found themselves in. They had spoken about so many things… but apart from briefly touching on it in the tale of the germination of their relationship… they had avoided the topic of their physical intimacy. Neither wanting to make the other feel uncomfortable.

 

It was Heatwave that finely asked about it, but only after psyching himself up and taking a long intake of cool, refreshing, sea air. The mech was more than curious about this aspect of the relationship. Ever since he first saw Kade, the rescue bot had felt the familiar and shockingly strong surge of arousal literally every time he was in the human’s presents. A burning hot tingle that crawled under his plating and pooled heavy in his arrays, his valve getting wet and spike pressurised at the red heads simplest look or innocent moistening of his lips. It had been so confusing, borderline frightening for the rescue bot just being around the human. The Cybertronian had never felt anything like this about organics before, he wanted to know why this tiny red haired mammal could elicit such a deep, fiery, hungry need in him.

 

The bot couldn’t help but grin at Kades sudden shy smile as he ducked his head and the pretty red flush that crept along the his pail skin. It took a little coaxing from the mech but, finely, they started talking about the intimate times they sheared. Or rather, once Kade got over the initial embarrassment, he started to regale the bot with all the stories of just how kinky their alone time could get… 

 

The Young organic seemed to find a perverse delight in seeing the shocked and disbelieving looks on the big robots faceplates. Kade told him about how they would sneak away under the guise of extra patrolling and disappear into the dense forest for some grown up alone time. How the mech had shown him exactly what was between his legs and how much fun they had messing around with their ‘Toys’. Heatwaves fans kicked on loudly when the human confessed that he loved everything about the robots mechanical body. He smiled up coyly at the mech and bluntly told him how much he enjoyed it inside his tight robot pussy and could never get enough of watching him leak over the forest floor.

 

Heatwave had asked how they managed given the sheer size difference. The human had shrugged and simply told him they figured it out through trial and error. Kade then mentioned about the Holo avatar the mech had made especially for them, how they had used it to be closer. How Heatwave had made a gorgeous human and a mini bot version of himself so they could enjoy all aspects of ‘getting it on’.

 

Regrettably, Heatwave no longer had the avatar in his programming, save for the stranded template all off world working Cybertronians had. The purge hand not only taken his memories but also deleted any and all the information on Heatwaves modified holo-avatar. Kade looked down at the ground so sadly it tore at the mechs spark. The young man sighed deeply, saying how much he was going to miss the handsome latte skinned avatar.

 

Heatwave told him that, if he wanted, he’d gladly create a new one. Though he couldn’t grantee it would be exactly the same, he offered that with the humans help and suggestions, the mech would do his best to make it as close to what his partner remembered as possible. The Cybertronian smiled warmly at the young man, lent down close and said in a low tone, how it would be fun to make and test out together… Because the mech found he really, really wanted to kiss the human. He wanted to see if his lips were as soft as they looked and find out just what he tasted like.

 

The rescue bot grinned broadly, seeing the delightful shudder that shook the organics body at the deep rumble of his voice. The bot captivated by the way Kade licked his lips and his blue eye’s dilated in clear arousal. The fireman squirmed on the spot and looked up at the alien. A hopeful look on his face and an eager gleam in his eyes. Kade admitted that it did sound like fun… and that he missed the bots kisses.

 

It was probably not a good idea… it was probably too soon… but the robot couldn’t control himself. Heatwave lowered himself to lay on the ground to get close to the human. He carefully lent over to his partner, the intoxicating sent of him so strong in the air as he gently pressed his metal lips to the small organics bearded cheek. The flesh feeling ever so soft and warm and the hair tickled against his plating. 

 

He was about to withdraw when the red haired human made a soft whimper and grabbed his face. Kade closed his eyes and planted his mouth firmly onto the bots. It was a chaste but tender and Heatwaves spark fluttered and buzzed like a thousand humming birds in his casing. He could just about detect the hint of mint that lingered on the young man’s lips. Sweet and refreshing. After a moment they broke apart, Kade gently rested his forehead against the robots nose plate as his calloused hands softly stroked over the dark grey metal of his partners face.

 

Heatwave hummed happily, amber optics shuttering as a servo came round to cup the humans back, fingers gently making soothing circles on his broad shoulders. Enjoying the closeness the tiny organic offered. Kade sighed deeply, relaxed in the fire trucks presents and basking in the comforting radiance of his EM field he so sorely missed. Simply content to just sit and be… Just to touch and listen to his engines ticking over. Kade could help the small smile that crept onto his face.

 

Yes… their past was gone, things would never be exactly the same as before… but that didn’t mean they couldn’t still be happy together… or love each just as fiercely as they had once done before…

It may take time… but there was no rush… They had all the time in the world to re-forge the bonds they once had. 

For the first time, Kade was actually looking forward to the prospect.


	18. Renewed hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The older kids and their Robotic partners are getting ready for a Movie night when something radical is uncovered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay,
> 
> the past month i've attended two cons and am currently getting ready for TFN (Transformers Nation) and i've been working on my cosplay for the competition. Botbots Sargent Scrubadub!
> 
> fingers crossed i get better the 3rd prize this year! 
> 
> next chapter on the way soon.
> 
> as always comments and kudos are much appreciated!
> 
> but for now enjoy

A few weeks had past since the unfortunate lovers had had their talk overlooking the vally. And in Kades opinion… things were going really well…

 

They had continued to spend more time together, though had both agreed to keep their relationship a secret for the time being. Neither wanting to cause more unnecessary drama while they worked out their footing and new dynamic with each other. It had been surprising easily for the human to pull his emotional walls down and to let the bot back in. Perhaps it was because of his love for the mech or maybe just the desperation and longing to be close to him again. Either way, the red haired man was grateful that he took the chance. 

 

They had taken things slowly since their talk. Heatwave, ever the gentlebot, never pushing his luck. Seemingly content for now just to hold the small organic or place gentle kisses on his head when they were alone. It was very sweet and Kade couldn’t help the swell of his heart every time the mech looked at him.

 

Right now the family were all gathering in the bunker, Human and bot, getting ready to watch a movie together. There were snacks, comfy beanbags, laughter and playful teasing as they waited for the last stragglers to arrive. Blades was whining that he wanted to watch a comedy as they had watched an action flick last week. Heatwave quipping back that his life was a comedy so why did he need to watch one? Kade laughed around his mouthful of popcorn at the utterly scandalised look on the helicopters faceplates. Managing to get bits stuck in his beard.

 

“I wonder what’s taking Chase so long?” Boulder asked, frowning as he looked in the direction of the tunnels where the police bot had disappeared hours ago. He had gone to check over some extra sensitive equipment and storage units the bots had hidden in the underground tunnels for safe keeping.  
“Don’t worry buddy,” Graham said, patting his plating gently. “He’ll be here. I’ve never know Chase to be late for anything.”  
“He’s right about that, Chase is the only mech I’ve ever know that never miss an appointment, including a rear axle alignment” Blades shuddered. “And EVERYONE puts those off.” 

 

“Why?” Dani asked curiously.  
“Cus it’s uncomfortable and embarrassing!” The orange and white bot cried out. “You’re in a weird position and the doctor has to…,” The helicopter looked around to check Cody wasn’t in earshot. “Well… he has to get under your plating in… sensitive areas.” The flying bot said with a certain amount of suggestive hand movements.  
“Heh, you remember when Ratchet had to give Boulder one when we first arrived?” Heatwave chuckled with a sly grin. Blades sniggered behind his servo as the poor gentle giant suddenly looked so betrayed by the fire truck.  
“Don’t remind me…” The green mech shrank in on himself.

 

“Oh my god, what the hell happened?” Dani asked, her and Graham looking worried. Heatwave just laughed, a deep throaty thing that unknowing made his human partner next to him, shiver in delight.  
“Well… let’s just say… after being in the outer quadrants alone for a century and then into stasis for a few millennia… the big guy got a little too excited when the doc bot was under his plating.” The red mech let the implications hang in the air, as sudden realisation and meaning dawned for two of the young humans. Kade on the other hand, sprayed half chewed popcorn over the floor, practically fell off the bean bag laughing at the poor engineer’s expense.

 

“Wha-Are… are you saying what I think you are? Or am I going crazy?” Dani asked slowly. Looking between the Rescue bot leader and her brothers partner; who was now looking so small and covering his face in utter embarrassment.  
“Boulder got a boner!” The fireman peeled with loud shrikes of laughter. “I would of payed money to see the look on old Ratch’s face when that happened!!” a fresh wave of laughter hit him as he conjured up images of the grumpy doctors unimpressed ‘I’m so done with this shit’ sour face.  
“holy crap is-is that what happened?!” Graham yelled, jaw hitting the floor.  
“Thank you Heatwave,” Boulder groaned, voice muffled form within his hands. “I obviously wanted to relive that wonderful memory again.”

 

“But-you’re… you’re robots! You telling me you have?!” Dani was blushing brightly as she waved her hands over her crotch area. “stuff down there?!”  
“Yeah, of course we do,” Heatwave grinned coolly at the scarlet cheeked pilot, “Where do you think little Cybertronians come from?”  
“Holy shit.” Graham blurted out, it was so out of character for him to swear it had Boulder looking up in shock at his sweet and gentle partner.  
“It wasn’t my fault!” He wailed in utter humiliation. “It’s like Blades said! It’s sensitive down there! And it’d been a while!”

 

The conversation was cut short when they herd the elevator starting its decent, signalling that Chief Burns and Cody where on their way. Dani and Graham quickly demanding that after the movie, they both wanted explanations… including why Kade didn’t seem shocked or surprised by any off this?! The group returned to some modicum of normality as farther and youngest son disembarked the lift and made their way over to them. The pair bringing with them more snacks, drinks and a few movies to choose from.

 

“Alright! Are we all ready for movie night!” Chief called cheerfully.  
“Almost.” Boulder chimed in brightly, grateful for the drop in the previous subject.  
“We’re just waiting for Chase to come back from checking on the stored equipment.” Graham said, looking up at his partner with a cool calculating expression. His brilliant engineering mind trying to silent figure out this new and slightly puzzling development regarding their alien companions. The green giant was trying hard not do squirm uncomfortably under the small organics intense gaze. Meanwhile, Dani was adamantly whispering something to Blades, the poor bot was trying to shush her and kept repeating that they’d talk later.

 

“Really? Hun, I’d thought he’d be back by now.” The older man said with a frown, oblivious to the underlying revelations that two of his older children now knew. Kade and Heatwave were just shearing knowing sly looks and wide satisfied smirks at the chaos they just caused.   
“So what movie are we gonna watch?!” Blades asked, impatient to know and looking for any excuse to change the subject.

 

“Well, we have a choice of… The Never Ending Story, Toy Story or…” At this Cody squinted at the title, clearly having never seen it before. “Batteries Not Included?”   
“Aw man! I love that one!” Kade cried out, sitting up, a happy sparkle of nostalgia in his bright blue eyes. “I haven’t seen it in ages!” The chief chuckled fondly as he put down the snacks.  
“I remember you being so fascinated by all the little flying alien robots. You’d sit so close and barely blink when they were on screen.”

“It’s got robots in it?” Boulder asked, both surprised and curious.   
“I don’t think I know that one.” Graham said with a shake of his head.  
“It’s awesome!” Kade grinned. “It’s about this rundown apartment and restaurant, all the tenants are going to be evicted and building going to be knocked down. But one night an spaceship crash lands on the roof and it full of Little robots that help everyone out! They rebuild the restaurant and bring everyone together and they even have little babies!”

 

“AWWWWWWW!” Blades cooed, his golden optics bright. “That’s sound so wonderful!”  
“It sounds like us!” Boulder chuckled brightly. “Well… apart from the baby part.”  
“Hay! If you used to like alien robots so much, why’d you give us so much grief when we first arrived hun?” Heatwave teased, poking the red head in the side. The fireman, lent away from the tickling touch and swatted at his partner, an annoyed scowled on his brow.  
“Probably because you’re not cute, palm sized or can fly!” The man snarked back and threw a piece of popcorn at the red truck. It soared up and bounced off his nasal plating.

 

The group laughed happily at the pairs banter, but before anyone could bring the conversation back round to choosing a movie, there came the familiar roar of the police bots engines. It echoed off the walls of the tunnel and channelled it loudly into the bunker, announcing his arrival before he appeared. 

 

It sparked a mild concern in the chief as over the years they had spent together, he had come to know his partners unique sounds and interpret their meaning. Right now, Chase sounded… agitated? Excited? But the human chose to brush it off, putting it down to the efficient bot being worried he’d miss the scheduled movie start time. Moments later, the white and blue Cybertroinan whizzed out of the entrance and came to a screeching halt, quickly transforming into his bot form.

 

“Ah! There you are partner,” Charlie called happily. “We were beginning to think you’d got lost.” The human joked. The bot gave him the adorable perplexed look he so often wore.  
“On the contrary, I knew precisely where I was, chief, there was never any danger of me becoming lost.”   
“Glad to hear it. Don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t around to help me keep the peace.” The human chuckled.  
“I am sure you would continue to provide superb law enforcement Chief if I were no longer here, But, regardless of that, there is something of the utmost urgency that I have discovered and must inform you all immediately.” At that everyone snapped to pay attention, becoming silent and ready to face any potential emergency the mech would inform them of. 

 

“What’s going on Chase?” the grey haired human asked in his no nonsense tone. A million and one scenarios already running through his head. “Are people or the island in danger?” The mech looked confused for a moment.  
“No, there is no emergency or imitate danger to Griffon Rock or it’s citizen.” The police bot said calmly. The gathered family all let out a huge sigh of relief, everyone stepping down from their red alert .   
“Dude! Don’t scare us like that!” Kade gripped, settling back into his bean bag and throwing more popcorn into his mouth.  
“YEAH!” Blades chimed in. “You made it sound like there was a catastrophe going on!”

 

“I apologise, that was not my intention. But the news I have, is indeed very urgent and important.”  
“What is it Chase?” Cody asked.  
“As you were likely aware, I was doing my quarterly checks of the equipment and stored records when I came across this.” The blue bot held up a chunky looking block with some Cybertronian glyphs on it.

 

“Our back up logs?” Boulder looked surprised and confused in equal parts.  
“I was running some more in depth diagnostics to check for corruption or damage and Hea-”  
“Chase… That won’t help.” Blades said sadly, cutting his team meat off. “Don’t you remember, we already ruled that out. We last backed up our memory cores before we went into stasis.”  
“We already checked the time stamps, Chase. You know that.” The green mech added. Looking apologetically at Heatwave and Kade. 

 

“Ah yes that may be the case, but we did not double check the data logs for tampering.” The police bot announced… perhaps a tad smugly. Everyone else was reduced back to silence.  
“Tampering?” Blades looked shocked. “Wh-who would do that?! Who could do that?! Oh Primus, please tell me it’s not Morocco!” stress making his vocaliser glitch at the prospect of having his memories tampered with again.  
“Have no fear Blades, I do not believe that any outside source had interfered with our storage devices.” The officer reassured his orange team mate. “Yes, it is true, we have not updated the back up’s officially since going into stasis. Heatwave however, backed his memory core up not a few days prior to the incident at the warehouse.”

 

The silence in the room was deafening and the sudden electric buzz in the air was almost overwhelming.

 

“Chase… if this is you trying to be funny again….” Heatwave growled lowly in warning. He cast a quick look at his human partner, the red head looked like was trying very hard to not fling the bowl of food across the room. The mech wasn’t sure if it was because he would be jumping up at the possibility or because he was just so angry and sick of being messed around with yet another false hope.

 

“I can assure you that I am not.” The police bot said seriously. “The last time I attempted humour was… awkward. As I was running a in depth check on the storage logs, I noticed there was a minor discrepancy in the time stamps. It peeked my curiosity. With further investigation I found that Heatwave had accessed his backup and made a new copy before efficiently covering his actions. But I have run the diagnostic three times on the logs to be absolutely sure. It is genuine.” 

 

There was another long pause of silence as Kade ever so carefully put down his bowl and stood. He took a few paces with his hands on his hips. His back to everyone as he spoke, oddly softly…

 

“So… just so we are 100% clear on this Chase… You’re saying… that after everything… all the stress… all the-the awkwardness… having to get to know my partner all over again… that we’ve actually had his blasted memories stored… on a hard drive... in the tunnels… ALL THIS FUCKING TIME?!” The fireman practically screeched at the end. It left everyone in the room taken back by his outburst. In truth Chief would have scolded him for his language in front of his youngest brother but… considering he knew just how much this whole ordeal had hurt his son, he was going to let it slide. 

 

“Easy Kade,” Boulder tried to sooth. “We didn’t know! We had no reason to doubt the records. There was no reason to look any deeper.”  
“Oh my god… I can’t even…” the fireman growled, his hands covering his face in frustration, his emotions churning thickly in his gut. He let out a groan of frustration, just when he thought he’d finely gotten them under control 

 

“But, I don’t get it! Why don’t I remember doing that?!” Heatwave puzzled with a deep frown, racking his poor scrambled mind for even a hint of him ever doing it.  
“If I were to summarise logically…” Chase piped up. “Perhaps you updated them because of something Kade did, something you wanted to remember-”   
“Then the purge dumped everything that related to Kade!” Cody finished excitedly.  
“Included all knowledge of making memory save because of something Kade did!” Graham chimed in, his enthusiasm matching his younger brothers.

 

The electricity in the air changed from one of stress to utter elation. A true and hopeful chance that Heatwave memory could actually be 100% restored. While the group chattered amongst themselves, Heatwave looked over at his partner. The young man had finely turned round, Kade looked up at him, blue eyes, shone bright with held back tears. A look of trepidation, not sure if this was possible or if his poor stitched back together heart could take another let down. Yet there was also the spark of hope.

 

Heatwave didn’t need time to make a decision.

 

“We need to call Ratchet…” He said decisively.


	19. Hopes and Prayers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone waits withe baited breath....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooooh.... its all happening.
> 
> sorry for the lengthy gap, but i've had two conventions between and i'm currently getting ready for TFN next week. I'm super excited but trying to pull my cosplay together is giving me major anxiety! 
> 
> there probability wont be an update till TFN is over as i still have to finish the last few chapters...
> 
> but i hope you like whats coming up....
> 
> and for those that like Heatwave/Kade porn... man have i got a juicy instalment for you guys!
> 
> till next time guys! X

Later that day…

 

“As I said before, I am no mnemosurgen, but I have done my utmost best to try and re install and incorporate his memory files.” Ratchet explained, his vents giving off a hefty sigh as he rubbed his tired optics. The old medic had been working for hours in solitude before he’d called in the rest of the Griffon Rock rescue team. Even Doc Green and Frankie had come round when Cody had called to tell them the good news. “There still may not be 100% correlation,” Ratchet continued as he stretched, the sound of old cables creaking as he moved. “but it is the best I can do…”

 

“That all we could ever ask of you Ratchet, Thank you for your hard work.” Chief said sincerely. All the others gathered adding to the sentiment.  
“Is he ready?” Kade asked, trying to keep the nervous waver from his voice. Eager and dreading the outcome in equal parts. “Can we wake him up now?”  
“Yes, luckily this time rebooting him is a much simpler procedure.” Ratchet moved over to a console, typing a few commands he activated Heatwaves boot up sequence. Even though it was so much faster than the last time they were all gathered in the bots makeshift sickbay, waiting for the for truck to awaken seemed to take an agonizingly long time. Especially from Kades point of view, the fireman could feel his stomach twisting itself in knots

 

Moments later the mechs optics onlined and he groaned loudly.

 

“Ow… my head hurts…” The Red bot groused roughly, his voice a deep rumble.  
“That will wear off shortly.” Ratchet said softly, running a scanner over him. “Take your time… your memory engrams are likely still correlating. It may take a few moments for them to synchronize completely now you’re active.” Everyone waited patiently as the white and red mech helped the fire truck sit up.  
“How are you feeling Heatwave?” Boulder asked gently.  
“Ugh! Like I’ve been run over by Trypticon… then he reversed and stomped back over me for good measure…”

 

“Heatwave?” Kade called up to his partner, unable to hold his tongue. The young man needed to know if the procedure was successful now. He steeled himself, trying to ready for either outcome. Whether it had worked or not, he wanted to know immediately. The mech on the berth un-shuttered his optics and looked down. Sky blue and sun orange met. The bot said nothing… but he didn’t need to. Kades heart skipped, the old, familiar recognition and warmth was back. In one look, the young mans hope sprung forth, he could see it … His old Heatwave was back.

 

“What’s the last thing you remember we did together before the fire?” The fireman demanded, he didn’t want to tempt fate more then he already had. He wanted clear clarification. An amused look crossed the mechs face.  
“Well… we had an argument about you putting your dirty feet on my dash,” He smirked and gave him a sly look. “And then we went for a drive and yelled at each other some more. You called me a Cock-womble.” The mech laughed. To anyone else, it was just an amusing statement that sounded like any other interaction the family had seen between them. Yet to Kade it held so much more meaning. Their own secretive code, ‘going for a drive’ and ‘yelling’ which translated to ‘we went somewhere’ to ‘screw like rabbits’.

 

At hearing the Robot word, Kade became a complete mess of warring emotions. He wanted to collapse and cry and shout and dance and laugh all at the same time. His heart utterly bursting with relief and joy. They were going to be okay. The Memory integration had worked and his partner… his lover, was back. Kade was so overcome that he felt dizzy, he couldn’t speak, tongue feeling like lead in his mouth, a hand came up to cover his face. He needed a moment to try and compose himself. The red head was trying very hard not to balling his eye’s out in front of everyone. But he no matter how hard he tried, had no way to stop the tremors that racked his body.

 

“Hay? You okay there Hot shot?” Heatwave said, concern lacing his deep voice as he slipped off the berth, kneeling before of the human. Kade swallowed thickly, and took a few shuddering breaths before he could get his voice to work.   
“Pick me up.” He ordered gruffly without removing his hand from his face.  
Without a word the mech lowered his servo, the fireman scrubbed at his face then hoped onto his partners palm, His face unreadable as the mech carefully raised him up to optic level. 

 

The two of them just scowled at each other for a long moment, the room deafeningly silent as the onlookers let them have this moment.  
“What? Ya gonna kiss me or something?” The bot teased with an infuriating smirk.  
“Yeah…. I think I am, you asshole.” Kade said, his voice holding just a hint of a waver. 

 

Then to the mechs and the gathered crowds shock, Kade did just that. He grabbed the mechs face and smashed his lips against the robotic aliens.


End file.
